Still in shock!

That's interesting! I was told the 6 month rule still applied.

And, I was told that because my ex refused to admit the adultery that I would need to prove that the adultery was the reason for the breakdown of our marriage...which it wasn't, because we had already broken up. That final affair was started after we had called it a day...so wasn't the reason that our marriage failed.

And, apparently, even if I could prove the adultery was the reason that we had broken up, I would then need concrete evidence of the adultery! Visions of me hiding in the wardrobe taking photos crossed my mind when I heard that one!

Apparently if he had been prepared to admit the adultery it all would have been very easy, but as he wouldn't I would have had to jump through hoops to make it go through. Or just go for unreasonable behaviour, which I eventually did, as it was so much more straight forward!

This might all be wrong - it was gleaned from a number of free 1 hour consultations as I eventually went on to self-rep as I couldn't afford a solicitor. Either way my petition for unreasonable behaviour went through and included his numerous affairs, without him being able to dispute them as reasons as I wasn't actually divorcing him for adultery!

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm,

I am confused now. However- I have had an admission from both parties that they committed adultery so whether that makes a difference?

And I have proof should the need arise.

Its all a bit confusing!!

Have just spoken to a solicitor who seemed a bit blunt and went straight in to the costing:( .
Can any one help? They want £700 + VAT and £300 court costs (£500 to be given on the first meeting. Is that about right?
Suggested that there would be an additional cost re trying to secure my inheretence of £150 an hr!!!

Am looking to buy a house, should I just get on and do that? Have already got the mortgage in principle and would be using 3/4 of the inheretence!!

If you buy the house this would be included in the matrimonal pot! You don't say how long you were married for if it is a hort term marriage (eg 1 or 2 years) then there is a possibility that it would be excluded from the matrimonial pot.

In terms of the fees they seem about right, you do though need to make certain that they do not escalate if the divorce becomes protracted.

downinthedumps

How long have you been married and did you cohabit beforehand??

This will make a difference to the finances and how the inheritance is viewed.

Hadenoughnow

Hi hadenoughnow

Together for 13 yrs, then 3.5yrs married before first split(would have been 5 yrs in july.

I have looked after the money for the past 7yrs to ensure i spent it wisely, and can't cope with the idea he could be intitled to some of it. He has always stated that it is my dads money and to use it as I want. I have got e-mails stating that from the first split, until he got spiteful!!!

I really don't think he wants it, but if I take control of the divorce and get the ball rolling he will fight for it just to be spiteful.

Many Thanks