I am so Weak

We had to meet up again for a school thing for our eldest then he came back round for a chat about money etc.

He wanted to explain about the affair and how it had come about. In some sick way I wanted to know everything. He'd met this woman at the pub he always went to on a thursday and after getting a bit drunk they kissed etc. He then got the booty call from her and went to hers during the day for a sex session. Thats all it was it said. He got caught up in being able to get the call and go to hers for sex. Her husband was at work. He then said he couldn't get out of it as she threatened to tell me, so he kept doing it! Said it would sometimes be months in between but felt he couldn't stop.

He wanted to know if I could ever forgive him and if I could give him a glimmer of hope he'd cling to that.

I said I didn't know what would happen as I couldn't plan the next day let alone look at the future.

He said he'd give me space and time but would hope that we could sort things out.

I kissed him as I needed to feel that warmth from someone. I liken myself to a beaten dog that goes back to its owner even though its been kicked so much. I've only ever known him and can't even look into the future.

Am I so weak! I've even traced her on facebook and am so shocked as she looks like a total slapper. In some way I feel better knowing she's not this fantastically looking woman with a fit body etc.

Feel sick now for not being strong.

You are strong, at at least he has been honest it seems, why no try some couple counselling? If he can give you space like he says you will figure our what to do. Take it slowly. You are worth it.

Take your time but be careful with him. My wife left me at Xmas and I tried hard to reconcile but it just got kicked back in my face.

There will be lots of people on here who have gone through similar situations. In a way human behaviour is very predictable and I really hope you can work it out. For me, I wish I had listened earlier to people on here who were right with my circumstances.

9 months on she is still with him and I now live with my two boy's. As you can imagine it is hard for us but it id getting better.

As I say be very careful, it's an emotional time for you so do not make any rash decisions. Keep posting as people on this board have been through it.

Best Wishes
Brunswick.

You're not weak. You're in shock. You are describing what we have all felt. Give yourself time to digest it all and think about what you want.

If you want to try again, do call Relate and get that booked in as soon as possible. Waiting lists can delay. Just be aware he's lied to you and could still be lying - it took me a long time to work that out. I am lied to in every conversation we have, 10 months down the line only now I understand what I'm dealing with.

Take care and take your time.

mumtoboys, you are spot on. It's almost as if they have all read the same manual!

lol brunswick. I was out with a fellow wiki a few weeks ago. My theory is that if records went back to the start of time, we would discover that these people all stemmed from the same family. Fellow wiki immediately had an idea for a new TV programme - who the f*** do you think you are?!

Yep, they all have the same manual. Just wish we could get hold of a copy - life would be easier, that's for sure.

Take care. xxx

I struggle daily with how a loving Wife and Mum, who was dearly cherished and cared for by me and my two boy's could so seriously lose the plot!

As one of my boy's reminds me on a daily basis - we have been invaded by an alien. Some of my wifes actions and behaviour are bordering on the insane, but she just cannot see it.

It is so hard to understand how our loved ones are capable of such horrible and insensitive actions. Having said that my ywo boy's have turned on her and it is horrible to watch.

Brunswick.