Hi am new here

Hi anotherone I'm in similar position 31yrs marriage and no idea it was happening. I like you saw a sol got house valued H pushing for div. 4 months down the line nothing has happened. Divorce is a slow process give yourself time to come to terms with it and don't make any rash decisions. It is going to be hard but it gets better.
Good luck

Hi there + welcome to the site. I'm another 1 who's trying to start again after a long marriage. Just keep surfing the site-you will see so many people have similar circumstances + feelings as yourself.
There appears to be a wealth of experience-all in lay mans terms, which is good.
Good luck + take care

donnylass x

Hi
I am so sorry for you I have sn idea of your emotions but have no children to worry about. I am 3 weeks in and we had made plans booked holidays etc. with, he has just walked away without a backward glance. This site will help you, and I just wanted to wish you well and your family. take care of each other x

Morning,

I think what is making it better for me is that I have little or no contact with him,if he was in this country I would feel differently.

What annoys me is the fact he is a bully and was very controlling throughout our time together,I have in the past left him and had to go into a refuge with my kids (3 times)he could be very aggresive when drunk verbally,he would throw stuff hit walls (thankfully not me) that type of thing which can be very scary.so on the whole I will be better without him,but it still hurts.I stood by him even if I didn't agree with him,he walked out of his job (drinking heavily)and our home was repossessed another reason we are paying a hefty mortgage now.

It's the cold way in which he told me (on the phone) he was going to keep paying the mortgage etc,then a couple of days later it was I think we should sell the house,now he is desperate and wants it all done quickly,he even had the cheek to say we could get a quick divorce on the internet.
How cold could he be, at this point I hate him and never want to see or talk to him again.

Here I am trying to deal with this on top of being left to deal with everything that has to be done re selling the house etc.

My youngest has just newly been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, don't get me wrong I love my son to bits and it won't change a thing, but I do worry about his future he is a very bright boy and is mostly in credit classes,he just doesn't use speech,and prefers to just be on his own,he doesn't show emotion either and I am worried about how this is affecting him.

Sorry about rambling on there is just so much going on in my head right now and I can't handle it.

Not one of my good days:(

Just wanted to send my best wishes. My husband used to throw things around - it was scary; he kept saying "I've never hit you" - but I always thought he could. He was emotionless and somehow that can be more frightening because you're always waiting for him to explode - not knowing how it would happen when it did.

Dealing with Aspergers can be difficult - but I was a fellow at a college in Cambridge for many years and many of our students had aspergers. They were different but a delight. Your son will find his place eventually but I realise its a worry now.


Take care.

Morning all,

I know what you mean Ephelia,I used to make myself ill if he went out, just with worrying what would come through the door
when he kicked off,people used to ask me "what did you say to him " like it was my fault.I didn't even have to open my mouth,he often phoned in the middle of the night to be picked up,and I would do it purely out of fear.

I won't have to put up with that any more.

I have been to see my Solicitor,she is going to value the house end of next week, to be honest I just want to get away from here,this was once my dream home,not any longer.

She does think there will be problems but is trying to come up with a solution,as he is working in Singapore and living in the Philapines so I believe.Will just have to wait and see.

Hello again,

I have been a bit quiet,but back on track now had a lot to do getting the house ready for valuation,she has been today and will call me Monday and is going to draw up an agreement for us. On one hand I want the house to sell quickly and get it over and done with,and on the other I am losing my dream home so bit teary today.

Have to really get it done as what he has sent over this month won't cover the outgoings knew this would happen at some point, just not so soon.

But I am determined to stay positive,and have taken onboard a lot of advice from here,I have read other peoples experiences and can't believe what some people are going through, my heart goes out to them.

I am so glad I found this site,cos I don't feel so alone any more.


Just like to say a big thank you to everyone.