10 years on -Back at square one!!

Hi all,

I hope one of you wise people can help me.

I was divorced from my husband in 1999, but we reconciled and have been living together for 10 years. We were married for 4 years had a daughter now 13 and have a son aged 6.

We have now agreed to seperate for the second time. I am not currently working, and haven't done for a while due to the demands of his career. We have a property in joint names with a small amount of equity. He has just resently started his own business with a few partners and the signs so far indicate it will be a success.

This is were i required help! I can't sleep for the worry! He has indicated that as we aren't married I have no claims on him financially! I now understand there is no such legal acknowlegement for common law spouses (wrong! I say, for benefits you are treated as married!! but not in seperation!) but we actually didn't conclude matters financially following the divorce. I obtained an order for spousal maint pending csa assessment (he wasn't giving me any money at the time)but no payments were made, or agreements reached re the marital home as we began co-habiting.The said,martial home has since been sold and a larger property purchased in joint names.We have no other assets.

Is it possible to 'pick up' the financial settlement from where we left off? and would i still be treated like a wife? please help, he earns a good salary and I fear I could be homeless! thanks for any advise.

Just found this. Not sure it's what you want to hear...
www.direct.gov.uk/prod_consum_dg/groups/...lasset/dg_067362.pdf

Hi Realdad

Thanks so much for the link - It confirmed my fears!

However, i am hoping that as our divorce was never concluded leagally with regards to the family finances,the issue of splitting of debts/assets and the marital home resloved - Can I reapply to court as an 'ex-wife' ?

Thanks again for any thoughts or advice.

Hi Elsbeth, unless you reached a Consent Order with your ex following the divorce, you can always apply through the courts for Ancillary Relief.

As you had a child with your ex during the marriage, the courts are likely to look kindly on your request... certain "high profile" cases have shown this recently.

Furthermore, as you have had a further child with him and a further period of cohabitation, the courts are likely to take this into account - in your favour - during the settlement process.

Finally, even if you had not been married, your ex has a duty of care to you (as the PWC - I take it you are the resident parent?) and his children.

Just a couple of questions:

Was the Decree Absolute ever pronounced by a court?
For what length of period did you separate for?

Your case is certainly complicated legally, but you equally as certainly have a strong claim for ancillary relief.

Elsbeth as long as you didn't marry anyone else you can reapply for Ancillary Relief.

Hi elsbeth,

I cannot contribute from a legal standpoint, as yours sounds a highly complicated case, and I am not a lawyer.

However, from a moral standpoint, which I think many of us in wikiland are searching for, I would have to say that the divorce counts for naught. It's as if you took a holiday from marriage - so reading from afar (remember I am not a Lawyer), and assuming that this is a simple "decision that you cannot live together scenario", and from an entirely moralistic perspective any settlement would seem to be fair based upon no break in the marriage.

However, as we all know, the law can, at times, be an ass.

I wish you well and hope that the moralistic view ends up as the victor.

Hi

Thanks so much for your comments. I feel somewhat reassured.

In responce to your questions;

Yes decree Absolute was granted by the court. It was a very quick divorce, 5 months from start to finish. No financial agreements were made prior to decree Absolute.

In total from the date he orginally left the marital home to us co-habiting, a period of 17months lapsed, and during this period we also had a very brief reconicillation of 4 months.

Also, unfortunately, i nolonger have any info regarding the divorce or the court order. I do not think it was a consent order, hopefully you maybe able to confirm this. He was taken to court as an emerency. The marital home was subject to re-possession proceedings and since leaving he failed to contribute financially to the household or child support. I worked part-time, and as his income was significantly higher, his income alone set the standard of living.
He also had the means to pay, he just didn't want to.

In order to prevent the repossession of the property I was awarded spousal maintenance. From what i can recall the court order stated i was due monthly spousal maintenance at £X per month unless i remarried (i haven't) and an order to sell the marital home. No indication was made as to who recieved what from sale or who would be responsible for our outstanding debts.

I hope this may make matters clearer.

Beth