Hi, I'm New

Hi All,

I am hoping this site can help....

I came home from picking up a friend from the rail station yesterday to find my husband had packed a case and was waiting for his brother to pick him up.
He left me no explanation, his wedding ring was left on the dining table, and he left....I don't know if he is coming back, I don't know what I did to cause this.

I feel like the a*** has fallen out of my world...

I have two children, 4 and 2 yrs old and I don't know what to tell them...

We haven't been arguing, in fact life has been really good lately.

I am hoping to find a little comfort and strength on this site...at the minute i am wondering how i will cope and have been bursting into tears all day...

I look forward to getting to know people here.

Emma

welcome to wiki madmuumy

Awwww what a way for him to have done it the least you deserve is an explanation, where does this leave his 2 children is he going to be seeing them very soon.Maybe he just needs a temp break to sort himself out don't write your marriage off yet.Loads of us here to support you if you feel upto it pop in chat and whatever happens you will cope.

Emma,
Welcome to Wikivorce. It is hard to know what to say except that I am very sorry to hear your husband has decided to leave. It is very early days at the moment and you have two beautiful children to look after. Make them your focus for now. They need a strong mum. Tell them that Daddy has gone away for a few days and that you don't quite know when he will be back. They are young enough to accept such a bland explanation without it troubling them too much.

Have you got friends and family close by? if so, make good use of them and go talk to them. It is better not to be on your own at the moment. You will overanalyse yourself to death trying to find an explanation. Try to keep yourself occupies, hard as it is.

One would hope that your husband would be in touch, either directly or indirectly soon.

It is a horrible thing to say, but check your bank accounts and credit card statements (including transactions in the last few days). Make sure that you transfer or withdraw as much a you need to run the home to somewhere safe. whether your own account or into cash. Recent transactions may give you a clue as to his plans.

Don't worry, whatever happens, you and your children will be alright. you have found one the best places you can be at the moment and there is a huge degree of kindness, support and practical advice and help here. You have a lot of new friends who know exactly how you are feeling and will look after you.

Mike

Thank you...I hope you are right...
thanks for kind words

xxx:)

I have a few questions, I guess you do too!

Have you been able to speak with him?
Is this just a break?
Do you want this too happen?
What about access?
What about money?
Is there somebody else?
etc.

One thing you might do, is make it clear to him, whichever way you can, that just walking out leaving all of these things unanswered is not going to help anybody, least of all his two little ones, no matter what he might think of you!

When you reach a point where you do this type of thing, you must be in a bad place, I nearly walked out on my ex, about 2 years before we broke up, I didn’t, but in order for me to even think about it must have meant that I just didn’t know what to do?

Regardless of what might have happened between you, and how you feel about him right now, you need to try and be as level headed as you can be, he won’t speak to you, if he thinks you are going to bite his head off, which are probably entitled to do!

I hope this is of some help it is meant to be! But us blokes do think differently!

Good luck

GM

Thanks for the advice Goodman.

But i don't really have any answers to your questions.... he says there is nobody else and if I am honest then I beleive him. Its not like he is out all the time or secretive, because he never was. He has never been what you would call a "romantic" or one for talking about things, birthday presents were an iron and the sort of things that are practical.

From where i am now....yes I am devastated. But I would never withold access from him....he is a good dad and his kids need him. Haven't really thought about money...I supported him for a while when he was out of work, so I guess I could manage if I needed to...

We have been together for 7 years....although there is a 10 year age gap.... (i am 26 he is 36)....I was young when I met him and to be honest...i have never thought of my life without him...

Nice to get a male perspective though...thanks for warm welcome, It will be nice to make new friends..

Hi Madmummy

You've come to the best place for help and support. Loads of people on here will help you get through it.

He may just be having a mid life thingy of "where's my life gone". I guess we all have these thoughts and they can be scary. Hopefully you will get to speak to him soon. You really do deserve an explanation, but try to ease it out of him calmly even if you are angry.

Take care

BRM