This is from my profile, updated today

Hi Emily-Jo

We've met briefly a few times on chat and I'm glad you've now felt safe enough to introduce yourself with some of your story.Don't worry about your intro being acceptable,anything goes here,we just all want to be supported and to offer support in return, u can tell as much or little about u as u want.

It does sound like you have got loads going on in your head at the moment and it must be so confusing for u. I've been there when u r waiting for someone to b the person u always thought they were and u eventually reach a point when u think enough is enough. Only u will know when that is and no-one can advise u on that.Someone once said to me what would i be missing if that person was not in my life anymore and I said stress!But it's more than that it's letting go of hopes and dreams.U have said u can't be taken advantage of anymore and that he only contacts u now when convenient to him, ask yourself whether someone who truly loves u could do this?He may well want to remain in your life, but what is he offering u in return?
U have some good friends, one of whom (Clare) was in chat with u the other night.They and your new wiki friends will support u in whatever u decide to do.
I know where u were coming from when u said in chat you've been married three times now. I've been married twice and yes I feel like what have i done to deserve this. Iperhaps rushed into my second marriage too quickly and maybe this happened to u. But that doesn't take away from your hopes and dreams and who is to say we both can't still have them.
Big hugs
Message me if u want
Scared x x:kiss:

I feel he is playing with my head as he only rings when its convenient to him and says he wants to remain in my life.....im so very confused....in my heart I know I should forget about this man...how can you when you are still in love and are just wishing that something will change and it will be everything you wish for. I long for him to hold me in my arms and take my worries away and act like a husband because in all of our marriage, I have been the bread winner and the worrier abd the decision maker.

Hi Emily-Jo, This really reminds me of myself only I have been married many years. The thing is the wishing for something that will never change can be soul destroying. I have realised now that you can never go back, only in your fantasy world. The pain seems so hard to bear sometimes and we wish it would go away and we could pretend it never ever happened. It has happened.


I think, like me, that you have been the strong one throughout your marriage. And like me you find it so hard that there is no one to "look after" and care for. I think, like me, you will eventually realise that you are a strong person and you deserve someone to take care of you too. It works both ways, give and take, with more giving than taking. I do feel your pain. Take care. There are a lot of people on here that can help. Much more than I can. I am only in the early stages, but perhaps a little further on than you are right now. xx

Hi Mrs
I really identify with what u have said in your post.
I definitely wanted someone to look after me for a change in my second marriage and ended up being the carer and strong one again. I desperately wanted to be in a loving equal partnership and have someone to make things ok for me when I needed them too and I do the same for them.
Like u say, it ended up mainly being one way and then u end up in that role and it is difficult to change back from carer and cared for in a marriage.
I wish u strength on your journey too and hope that one day we will find someone to take care of us too, even if that is only ourselves.
Scared x x

Thank you for your replies, it is very hard but with all the great support from friends and all of you, i will xxx Just that I wake up in the night with a (difficult to explain) im sure you all have it...its like a tightness and pulling feeling at bottom of the tummy...and i feel so anxious...is this common

Yes Emily-Jo it is.
Until I'd accepted more where I was at, I used to always wake up about two am and feel like I had butterflies fluttering around my chest and my stomach would churn. The thoughts would all be racing around my head and getting back to sleep was sometimes impossible.
U will c lots of similar comments about sleep patterns on this site and it is def all to do with anxiety.
If u having real probs with it, try herbal sleep remedies or maybe even c your GP.
Try and sleep tonight hun
Scared x x

Hi Saffy

I've also 'met' and chatted with you in the chatroom. I'm glad you decided to post, it helps when we know where everyone is coming from.

I just wanted to say 'big hugs' really. I understand domestic violence, I understand 'changed behaviour' post-marriage. Only you can decide if you've had enough (and you ceratinly seem to have done) because it is, after all, your life.

Next time I think I want to re-marry, I'm going to buy a dog...

Keep talking honey. You're amongst people who understand

Shez x