New to all of this

Hello,

I cant believe I am on a site like this! My husband left me 18 months ago. I have two beautiful boys who are devestated by his decision. After 20 years together, 10 of which were married, he decided he didnt love me with all of his heart and he didnt want to look back at his life and regret not leaving me! He was telling me he loved me right up until he decided he didnt anymore. I truly believe his feelings changed when we had the children after we were married. I have always adored him and would have done anything for the family not to be broken up. I believed in my wedding vows. I have found it extremely difficult trying to move on when I see him when he picks the children up for his contact. So much has gone on in the past 18 months. The way he talks to me upsets me - I look at him as if I dont know him anymore. We are currently going through the dividng of our assets. The whole process is very painful and I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy!

I wish you well. It does take time; try not to let him get to you. Try to go out and meet new people, you'll feel better about yourself and will meet new people who care.

Welcome to Wiki. Use it for all the support you need. You are not alone and everyone here is anonymous except in PM so USE OTHERS EXPERIENCE TO OUR BEST ADVANTAGE.. Polar

Welcome,
keep reading and keep posting. I could not believe being on a site like this but it helped enormously. Friends and my children soon got tired of me being able to talk only about my marital problems. They just could not understand why I keep crying for weeks, why I just can't move on, he is not worth it.
To read other post and to learn that I am not alone and that it is normal to have feelings that I have and that it takes a very long time to get over 18 year marriage, even an unhappy one, is very comforting.
Petrof.

Ditto !!!!

Hi lou big hugs,
I am glad that you did find this site, in view of your state of mind and hurt. This site will help to support you when you most need it. Everyone here has been through the anxiety and pain you are experiencing at the moment.
We all get sucked on to the 'rollercoaster' ride and we all grit our teeth, just waiting for the high bit, so that we can feel a little better.
To be rejected is the so hurtful, and you are still in shock, even after 18months.
Try and take time for yourself, it is hard, but it will help take your mind off the situation you are in.
Everyone finds that writing a post here, venting their anger, hurt, aggression, whatever emotion you may feel, just takes the edge off for you.
We take a long time to understand why, but we do eventually get our lives back and manage to ride the rollercoaster to the end and get off the bloody thing.
Keep posting and take care of yourself.
Zara

Hallo

I was with my ex for 31 years, and this month was our 18th wedding anniversary. We also have two sons, 16 and 14.

We hadn't been getting on, and I suggested separating. A month after this conversation, he announces he has another woman. Stayed until elder son did GCSEs and then left in July. I have been feeling what you describe but I really hope in 18 months time I will be feeling better!

Even though the split was mutual, it is so hard for me as ex has someone else to share his feelings. I have supportive friends and family, but they aren't around at 3 am when I am crying my eyes out.

Sometimes it feels like I am wading through sh*t and I just have to hope I am getting towards the shallow end!

Hope things will get better for you soon.