Pregnant wife cheated on me.........

Hi everyone

Ive been on her e a while but have never formally told my story......so her goes.

Met my stbx in 2000, moved in together late 2001. I had a son from my previous marriage and she took to him superbly, we lived well and happily. Engaged in 2004 and married in May 2006 with the big function etc.

I was delighted when my life fell pregnant, as planned, in April 2007, and life couldnt have got any better. Darling daughter was born 15.12.07 - my world was complete, a wife who I adored, beautiful kids, good job, great friends etc.

My world came crashing down when the baby was 19 days old......my wifes affair had been sprung by her lovers wife and she had to confess to me. She still lied and said it had been going on for six weeks, turns out it was six months, so the affair started when she was 16 weeks pregnant.


Some of the details that came out were horrendous - she had her office xmas party the night before she was due, and rolled in at 3.30am, then went into labour 3 hours later. Pictures of my precious new born daughter are tinged with the knowledge of what her mum had been up to a few hours before (she admitted she had been with her lover). Then I discover she text her lover when the baby was 20 minutes (!) old, I was sat by her side still waiting to have a hold of the baby and thought she was texting friends. Then I found out that the first time I went to back to work after taking some paternity time off, lover boy was round at my house with a present for the baby

(If the 'DNA test' alarm bells are ringing, well I'm having one next week - but she is the image of me so I'm 99.9% sure!)

Despite me finding all of this out through the lovers wife, and the fact that he scarpered back to his wife when this all broke, my stbx refused to reconcile or even really try to reconcile, and after 3 desperate months, left to move back to her mums and took the baby with her. I'm now fighting through the solicitors to get more contact with my daughter, and waiting for the nisi to come through.

A few weeks after she left, she served the divorce papers on me, without warning, and tried to have them served on my birthday (she missed by a day ) She claimed UB against me, and never mentioned her affair. Her reasons were that I didnt do enough housework and didnt clean some cat sh$t up once when our cat had an accident!!

So she has behaved very bitterly, as if I have done something wrong. She had it all, everything she had wanted, and threw it all away. I had worked my butt off so she didn't ever have to return to work after the baby was born, and I mean 'retired' at 29 if she wanted, cos that was always her wish, and I always tried to give her what she wanted.

Ive read some of the horror stories on here, the abusive husbands, the cheaters etc etc and Im not saying Im Mr Perfect but she sure could do a whole lot worse than me. I can say I would NEVER have cheated on her, I never looked at another woman in our 7 years together, I saw her as my life partner and all my lifes dreams, and my sons, were entwined with her.

Untangling all of that has and continues to be painful. She is now in another relationship, living at her mums having everything done for her, and is screwing me financially - house is joint but she wont pay towards mortgage.

She doesn't give a hoot about my 9 year old son who she 'loved' so deeply (cough), or the fact that he barely sees his 10 month old sister. How she sleeps at night is beyond me.

Feel like Ive just written a horror story but realised Im in it! Anyhow I'm coming out of the other side, with the support of friends, family, this site etc Im hoping 2009 will be a whole lot better than 2008!

Thanks for reading, LB.

Thats a sad story Lb I'd like to call it like it is but my favourite word for birds like that causes offence to the other women on here .
All the best,the kids are what's important fella and being a proper man you can only be responsible for your own actions not what some cheat does to you once you've let em in close.
All the best
Pete


Moderators Note : Post edited

Hi LB, i agree with Pete here, such a sad story, she has put you through hell and nobody deserves to be treated like that!! I'm not sure how she can sleep at night either, but we know that our exes do!! Its us thats been betrayed that have the sleepless nights, god only knows why we let them leave us that way!
Just think of your kids now, fight for that contact with your daughter & try to tell yourself that you've just had a bad experience but are out of it now. You deserve to be happy & treated with respect in the future, we all do, and its up to us to make sure we don't make the same mistake again!!
Good luck to you & keep posting,
Cindy

hawaythelads wrote:

Thats a sad story Lb I'd like to call it like it is but my favourite word for birds like that causes offence to the other women on here .Just to say it starts in C ends in T and has a couple of other consonants in the middle!

Go on, I give up.

LB

That is truly a heartbreaking story. People like your stbx dont hold much regard in my books.

I can only imagine the hurt you are going through, but you have to be strong - if nothing else for your son and for your daughter. You have to fight the best you can cause that little girl should not be kept away from her father.

They say time heal and things do get better..slowly.

I discovered what my ex was up to on New years eve...so 2008 really did not start well...

lets all hope 2009 is better for everyone

take care
Claudette

Thanks for your comments.

Like you've all said, I will fight for my daughter and try to make sure she grows up with morals, unlike her mother. Its important she spends time with her father and brother, and I will do everything I can to make sure that happens.

Quite how stbx will be able to celebrate her daughters birthday each year when it will be the anniversary of her sordid behaviour is beyond me.

Im glad to be out of it and truly believe in the old 'what goes around, comes around' theory. I also agree with Haway's terms for people like her:)

So sorry Little Blue, she is truly disgusting and a disgrace to the female species. Hope you get through this.

I feel so much for your little boy, he must be so hurt and confused and how she can treat you both like this is beyond me.

Take care

Saffy x