Flashbacks.

I wanted to ask if anybody else has flashbacks to what happened during their marriage.
A few times now I''ve dreamt about it to the point where it has awoken me and made me really panic about things the next day or two then I''m fine again.
I''m so desperately trying to push to the back of my mind everything that I went through with my ex husband.
It feels like I know every piece to the jigsaw now and im not sure that is a good thing as you would think it would bring you closure but not sure it does.

I used to get them. Would floor me at some random moment. I did ask about them at counselling and the reply was that they were to do with the healing process. And they gradually went away. Now some 8 years on, I dont get them at all.

I think what your refering to is just nightmares. The flashbacks I used to get would be related to a scene some years before and the feeling was like a panic attack. I would have physical symptoms.

The dreams I used to have though would make me feel bad for days afterwards and I would take some drastic steps like changing locks. Putting chairs under doors and all these silly things.

We all dream and we only remember the dreams when we awake during them. I also used to have nightmares that they were trying to get in my home. And for a couple of years I slept with a chair wedged under the door knob. It was only when my mate was banging on my front door one morning and I was rushing to get out of my bedroom that I saw the futility of this behavior. No way could they have got in and I stopped doing it. Now I dont have those dreams.

I think its fairly normal to dream about something thats troubling you. As time goes by and what happened to you troubles you less, the dreams will subside. Just keep working on the basis that he cant hurt you no more. Only in your head. And all these issues will resolve themselves. Marshy.

Thank you Marshy it''s good to know I''m not the only one who has been through.
I do try and not talk about it as it''s remains on my mind that evening.
I know that I''ve been through the worse and know he can''t do nothing else but for some reason that night everything fell into place and I woke up in a right panic with a tight chest but today I''m ok again xx

blondecazza wrote:

Thank you Marshy it''s good to know I''m not the only one who has been through.
I do try and not talk about it as it''s remains on my mind that evening.
I know that I''ve been through the worse and know he can''t do nothing else but for some reason that night everything fell into place and I woke up in a right panic with a tight chest but today I''m ok again xx

Please do try and talk about it and think about it. Dont bury it. Doing that makes it worse. But saying all this, try not to worry about it. Sure as eggs are eggs if you worry about a flashback you will have one.

He cant hurt you anymore Caz. Thats done with. He can only hurt you if you let him. So deny him. Dont give him permission (or anyone else) to hurt you.

But look to the future Caz. One day you will walk away from all these fears you have. Take control of your life and your fears and try not to worry. Did I say dont worry? Yea and that lol. Marshy.

I know you talk alot of sense Mr M...Thank you x

blondecazza wrote:

I know you talk alot of sense Mr M...Thank you x

Hey NP. And dont worry. Its gona be alright. x

There are some moments of daydreaming where I''m taken back to situations during my marriage; they''re usually either moments of high emotion, or moments that have helped me to understand the bigger picture of what happened.

I couple of weeks ago I saw this move, American Sniper (which I didn''t enjoy very much for various reasons!), and the main character ended up having PTSD. Now, I''m not equating for a moment the ''day dreams'' are anything like the horror moments that were depicted in the film, but it did get me thinking... and, as Marshy said, perhaps it''s just a part of the healing process, of coming to terms with stuff.

The day dream memories are now getting more and more fuzzy... and less frequent. So, time does heal, and so does explicitly deciding to go ahead and create some new memories too.

JJ