life, what life?

dear all, who finds himself/herself in a situation where you go out and you are supposed to have a good time, yet you get that awful sad, low, and lonely feeling that hits you deep in the heart. I am trying to mend, pick up the pieces call it what you wish, finding it so hard. after all these years being part of a couple I now find myself lonely and broken. although the marriage and the relationship was not ideal in the past eight years, I tried to fix it, alone, didn''t work. I need to find myself again, I need to live again.

I think we can all empathise with you, it''s not easy trying to kick start a social life, when you have been with a partner(however crap!) for a long time.
Be kind to yourself.
Personally speaking I was so determined initially to be seen to be having a good time that I wasn''t kind to myself and inevitably hit the wall:(
Learn to listen to your mind and body- if you don''t feel like going out/meeting new people- then don''t!
Give yourself a break and wait until you feel more positive-look for activities that YOU enjoy- whether it is dancing/reading group- whatever- it is often easier to go out if you are heading for a specific group, rather than going out for a drink or some other less structured activity as it gives your evening a focus.
Brighter days are on the horizon!((Hugs.)))

a big big thank you(())

Some days I still feel I don''t have much of a life although what I have is better than being with someone who had no respect for me whatsoever. I have never been someone who enjoys group socialising as I feel extremely lonely and isolated in a crowd. Family life has always been the heart of my life and I find it strange that I am now on my own. Teecher is right with her suggestion of looking for things you enjoy doing - you have more chance of finding like-minded people and if you don''t find anyone to connect with, at least you can still enjoy the activity.

Hi, I had lost all my social contacts due to giving my STBX all my attention.. also everyone my age is kidna busy...

To rebuild my social link I used this website... works well for me maybe not for others but have a look at local area and meet people who are also interested in the activities you are

Its not dating or anything so crass, its just meeting and enjoying being out and about.

Oddly enough I have met some nice people and done some things I would never dream of...

www.meetup.com/

thank you so much wisewoman and lostandonthesofa(())

...one of my strategies (and you may not be at this stage yet - no rush - it takes guts) is to ask myself what the ideal date would do for me (no not that!) today - and then take myself off to do it. I wont lie, it''s not the same, but it is better than rotting. And who knows what might come of it. Don''t force it, you will know if and when this is right for you. See you at the cinema, art gallery, theatre, library, park etc?