Dealing with emotional torture...

Hi Fifi i really feel for you as i have been there and got the tshirt.....all i can say is you will get through this.......i thought i never would was totally heartbroken but it was almost overnight something happened and i dont care anymore my stbx can get on with his ow and good luck to him.............i hope this happens to you where you will wake up and not care anymore and see a new future ahead of you......i dont know what is wrong with these men i dont know whether it is a stress thing where they go totally off the rails i wish i had the answers.......lots of love

Yes marshy is right, same happened to me. The reactions of others -this was the hardest many just turned there backs on me, her family, neighbours, mutual friends, parents in the playground and it happen very quickly within 48 hours of me discovering her affair. It pretty common it happens all the time. My children know me for the person I am and that all that matters really. I was not the only person she lied to.

My ex moved OM in within a week or so after I had to leave, yes she too rubbed her euphoric happiness in may face and constantly telling me I was a sad bitter old man. Although my ex had a great deal of anger and hate with her

I think you get to a point were they have done their worst also their euphoric happiness stage will come to and end, in time you''ll learn to ignore this stuff I take too much head space. I had to just let thing go and just keep on plodding through.

take care

So sorry you find yourself in this place , but by posting here you are amongst friends who understand and can help and support you.

I am much earlier in my journey than you and mines a bit different. But have hope. At the blackest of times, when I didn''t think I could get through it I have and am determined to get to a better place. This forum has helped me so much in finding that resolution.

My husband has just ditched the other woman and is having a breakdown because of the guilt he cant cope with as he now realises how many people he has hurt with his actions. So theres a bit of positive for you, sometimes they do realise what they have done. Where we go from here time only will tell. Probably too broken a relationship to fix now and I also need to decide for me if the relationship is something I still want.

So in all the mess take care of you and re-build - I know its hard - but you can do it - you ARE worth it. Despite him find a better place for you and show him what he lost.

Thank you for all your messages of support / empathy.

I have decided not to communicate with STBX via text or email anymore about our wreck of a relationship. I challenged him about the fact that his choices had made me feel as if I was losing everything that I held dear. His answer was that he could not come back even if he wanted to because I am so unreasonable and difficult to live with. I then received a text telling me that he wants a family unit and does not want to fight.

He tells me that he is not with OW. She works for him so the introductions are in his eyes unavoidable. Yuck. I suspect he is lying to me -he did before -they split at the end of June and she had the audacity to text me to ask if I had been with him on a particular night! Anyway, I have a hunch that it is back on now.

Suffice to say I don''t and can''t trust him. I know he feels bad -I actually don''t want him to feel bad (because I still have feelings for him (yuckity yuck yuck).

A good friend suggested that this matter was too important to spend time texting about. If he really wants to talk he can do it to my face.

With regards to the emotional torture -he received a warning flare some time ago from a mutual friend pointing out that if he makes it unbearable for me to stay in the area then it will become reasonable for me to move away and start again. I see this as my safety net and an option to focus on when times are tough.

Thank you for your input -it buffered me at a very low point yesterday and I will refer back to this thread when I feel the dip coming again.

Take care F x

are we married to the same man? Mine left a year ago leaving me wiht no family and also his OW works for him. He has been having affairs for at least 17 years with different women the last one a right ***** for at leaat three years finally I chucked him out but afterards made a fool out of myslef begging him to come back. Now I see him for what he is PATHETIC running after his tail like a 18 year old but with a belly and grey hair haha I can finally see what a pathetic person he is and wouldn''t take him back for all the tea in China