New relationship aaarrghh!

Nicwin you are so right ,we can and should take the chance to make new starts,Im seeing someone now and its fun,we don''t see a lot of each other cos of work commitments but when we do we have a laugh and we are happy.Obviously if it doesn''t feel right and you really don''t feel happy then it cant be the right time,take things slowly ,you will know when ..hugs

I remarried last year, after the divorce that brought me to Wikivorce 6 years ago. I can relate to so much you say, that ''cold feet'' feeling around new relationships; the emotional confusion.

I would agree with Marshy''s words - if you are still at this place then you are probably not emotionally stable enough for a new relationship. But that''s just my opinion - only you can make the decision. I spent a lot of time just talking to my guy before we even thought to get involved. By the time we gave a thought to possible dating, we already had a strong connection but, by then, we knew a lot about each other.

I would tread slowly on this - if the idea of a weekend away freaks you out, don''t do it. Don''t do anything you don''t feel comfortable with. It''s a nice idea to date someone - it can bring a flattering stroke to our ego that has probably been missing for a long time. But if you''re not ready to deal with the ''up close and personal'' then be honest with yourself about it. I would be honest with him about it too.

Shezi

Thanks for all your advice.

Nicwin really pleased that you have moved on and enjoying a new relationship.

I''ve been away this weekend and had time to think. My friends/family have all said the same thing ''JUST ENJOY YOURSELF''

It''s just a bit daunting but I will try not to take things so seriously and just enjoy having some male company and if it doesn''t feel right I will just have to be honest with him, and just stay friends.

I know other women in my position that seem to go from one relationship to another without a care in the world. They seem to just throw themselves right into it every time, without any of the doubts that I have.

Ah well I guess we''re all different so I just have to do what feels right for me.

My advice re relationships would be............
DON''T EVER GET MARRIED..........EVER!!!!!!!!
At least I''m consistent
All the best
HRH xx

i feel i am in pretty much the same position as you are patsy, starting up a new relationship and still getting all the same old doubts.
the advice i have been given, and have been sticking to so far is: do what feels right, don''t do anything that feels wrong and have fun!
not sure if that helps.
I''m still confused!

I took Shoegirl''s advice and ''changed the lens'' that I was looking at this through.

So last night when I was about to go on another date, instead of being daunted & feeling pressured I thought to myself - I''m going out with a nice guy who I like and I trust and we''re just going for a lovely meal and I''m going to enjoy it and just be myself. No pressure!!

And that''s exactly what I did. I enjoyed being with a man, being taken out, hearing lovely compliments, having a laugh and flirting with him. It was so nice to feel attractive and special again. My ex barely seemed to notice what I was wearing or a new hair cut or look at me with any sort of desire. He totally took me for granted so it was refreshing to feel like I was desirable and had a man''s undivided attention.

I''m feeling more relaxed about the whole thing now, and most importantly I''m spending far less time thinking about the ex.

I''m still not over the hurt completely, and I still miss him from time to time, but I''m definitely feeling much happier with life.