To Contact Order or Not

Hi All,

My ex and I are separated under the same roof, and will be going through divorce soon. In the meantime we have an informal arrangement for care of our 2-yr-old daughter which is not far off 50:50 timewise. Recently mediation broke down because she decided despite current arrangements that one night a fortnight was more than enough time for me, and was not prepared to negotiate. I applied via C100 for a contact order and we have a hearing in a couple of weeks.

She''s finally got a solicitor involved which I hope will lend some sanity to proceedings, and has come up with an offer that has moved greatly towards what we informally have in place today.

My question to the board is - do I cancel the contact application given that she seems to now be prepared to move, and if I do cancel it presumably there''s nothing to prevent her going back on anything agreed even if through her solicitor? Or shall I proceed and in court say to the judge that we''ve now agreed something but would like it rubber stamped via undertakings?

Thanks all for any advice.

i would go through with the application anyway. Theres nothing stopping her changing her mind again at a later date. At least if the agreement was approved by court by way of a Shared Residence Order it would prove harder for her to just change her mind every time her mood changes!!

Thanks rmatank, I''ve sent back some amends to her proposal via her solicitor so will see whether they come back in a timely and agreeable manner then make a call.

Basically I need to decide whether to instruct a barrister - I can''t really afford it but equally am thinking that I can''t afford not to make sure that I get quality access given that this will probably be the basis upon which which the divorce and longer term split is based.

And all I''m looking for is to secure something similar to what we informally have operated for the last year! Madness..!

have you asked for shared residence in the c100 application? I have sent you a private message!!

There''s no reason why you can''t come to an agreement and then present it to the court at the first hearing and ask them to make an order by consent.

If you''re close to an agreement then you could either continue negotiating at court or you could ask the court to postpone the hearing to give you extra time to negotiate. Courts are generally pretty willing to give parents extra time to give them the opportunity to come to an agreement. If you intend to do this then write to your ex''s solicitor and get their agreement before asking the court to adjourn.

Withdrawing your application isn''t as easy as you may think; you have to have permission from the court to do so, so you''ll likely need to attend a hearing just to get permission to withdraw your application if you choose to go down this route.

Thanks u6c00. I think we have enough time before the hearing to agree or otherwise, and in a sense having a timetable pushes it along. I hadn''t realised you couldn''t withdraw the application easily, good to know.

Just happened to flick past BBC Parliament Channel literally a minute ago and what should they be discussing - Shared Parenting, in connection with the Children and Families Bill! Caroline Nokes talking about how important it is, particular for father / daughters. Hear hear!