To Contact Order or Not

Thanks u6c00. I''ve got proper legal advice at the moment but it''s frightening how quickly the bills ratchet up so it''s more the long term game that is a worry financially. Anyway on advice I''ve now written to the court to ask them to switch my contact to shared residence and written to her solicitor asking for an undertaking not to remove our child until we''ve got agreement, otherwise I''ll ask for a Prohibited Steps Order. Roll on court!

brilliant, let us know how you progress?

Hi all,

Update on how court went yesterday... overall status - not a disaster, but not good..

We had a meeting with a CAFCASS officer first, where the mother objected to the current arrangement in that if I had Beatrice for the weekend then she wouldn''t see her from Thursday to Tuesday. Fair enough, I said, but the only way to minimise the amount of time we''re both away from her is to switch which days we do each week, i.e. whoever doesn''t have her for the weekend has her for Monday. At this point the CAFCASS officer, who didn''t strike me as very bright, tried to draw up a two weekly schedule and struggled to even do this. He then populated it with "his proposal", which for no good reason just dropped one of my weekdays, and reverses the situation so now I don''t see my daughter for five full days. When I said that dropping one of my days wasn''t very fair, he (metaphorically) threw his arms up in the air and said we were never going to agree this and we should go into court. This whole process was between 5-10 mins.

We went into court and in a short hearing the judge said that she''s definitely not going to object to my ex moving to the North but commissioned a full S7. report first. Then in terms of interim arrangements she listened briefly to barristers then said she''d just go with the CAFCASS recommendation as "they are the experts"! My barrister afterwards said this is the lazy low risk option for judges. What frustrated me was that we''d had 5 mins chat with this officer who had cobbled together something that wasn''t well thought out, we hadn''t had time to properly agree it, and now it''s rubber stamped as an interim agreement! If it had been explained to me beforehand that whatever we cobbled together in that brief pre-meet was most likely to be the solution I would have asked for more time, it all seemed so rushed. What worries me is not so much the interim arrangement, it''s sad that I won''t see my daughter so much but it''s more about the long term game, and I worry that this reduction in my care will lend weight to her want to move away.

The other massive curveball which her barrister threw in right at the end of the hearing was that ex has handed in her notice for her job. In advance of the court hearing which was to decide whether or not she could take our daughter away! To me this is a reckless and cynical move, we''re already struggling with the legal fees and now??

Part of me thinks she''s played a blinder though, as I can only really prevent her from going up north if we are operating a shared parenting arrangement, but if as a result of that poor CAFCASS officer she now has swung her caretime up from 50:50, and secondly if she leaves her job then she stays at home and looks after our child (She''s always worked full time after maternity) then she''s basically automatically becoming the primary carer in which case a court will not stop her from moving. She''s also maximising any possible divorce settlement from me by not having a job! Or am I just being cynical?!

So...

Feeling a bit sick to the core about the whole process and her behaviour to be honest...

In terms of next steps, we have the S7 report which will take 12 weeks then a final hearing a few weeks after that, so June. In the meantime I don''t know what we''re going to do about money, I''m going to have to take out loans or something to pay the legal bills, will take a look at the other board to see what people suggest.

Not good, and not impressed with CAFCASS - really poor process.

well, if the court actually allow her to move up north, i know what i would be doing.......i''d be getting all the arrangements in place in order for me to go and move up north too, so i would be able to maintain relationship with my kids!!! I would find out where she is going and when, get a property and a job lined up, ready to move when she does!! I would want to have equal shared residence of my kids and would do anything to make this happen. If the court saw that you were prepared to do the same, they may order equal shared residence anyway?
If she knew that you were moving up north too, she may change her mind

Thanks rmatank, yes I''m actively looking into it. It still cuts her off from my family in Kent but like you say, maybe calling her bluff will be enough for her to abort it.

Well it looks like KAFKAss have done it again - had a S7 interview which went well, long report just received which details our situation, and at the end of it almost contrary to the grain of the overall report and findings it suddenly says "but the child will adjust, so we recommend mother is allowed to relocate her away from father". Incredible...

I''ll post more when I''ve got a more level head..

Didn''t the judge already say that there was no objection to your ex moving? Cafcass are just checking that there are no reasons that the child should not be moved, and they appear to have no objections either.