Children all mixed up?.

Hi my 6th old has started going to stay with her father and other woman and her kids, every other weekend, she enjoys going seems to have a good time as ow kids are there so got someone to play with etc, so it''s all so easy for stbx! My 16yr old won''t go, so he with me and watches everything I''m doing who I''m going out with etc!
After my daughters last visit when she came home she had a major tantrum for no apparent reason, I asked her to write me and her dad a letter saying how she feeling, she wrote the same on both that she sad because she misses her daddy but happy as she with her mummy!
She must be so mixed up as know daddy now living there with her and her kids!
Stbx said it''s they picking p on my negative attitude that''s why they rebel! He not here seeing this and having to try n pick p the pieces.
I''m now waiting for counselling for daughter, also thinking would it be better for her not to see her dad for now??
Son won''t go to councillor but still wrong on that x
Many thanx
D x

Sorry but think stopping contact is over reacting. You said your daughter enjoys going. Maybe dad has a point about you not being happy with situation and so daughter reacting with you?

He is so wrong, he doesn''t see the behaviour I''ve had to put up with since he left? I do think it''s better for her to see her dad but just want my kids to get sorted in their heads?

Just be aware of the fact that both of you are projecting the negatives of your childrens behaviours on the other parent. This is not good, nor is it fair.
Of course your children are going to need time and patience from both parents to adjust, don''t make any hasty judgements or decisions.

Your daughter loves spending time with her Daddy - stopping contact is not the answer.

Have a read of this article, hopefully this will help you understand and try to see things from your childs perspective (not your own projected anger on your ex)

www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Wikizine-Paren...ge-Annies-story.html

WR

not easy but stopping contact may do more harm than good. "putting children first" is a good book by Karen Woodall...also familylives are very good for phone support.

My opinion is that they won''t"sort their head out" as you say. They''ll learn how to make the best of bad situation, they''ll cope with missing one parent when they are with the other, they''ll get used to the situation, but they won''t get their head around it.
In a blink, they would if they could have mummy and daddy back together, no matter how unhappy it makes the both of you.
Hear what they have to say, keep communication as opened as possible, and let them ride their own storm and find their own peace in time.

Hi
I dont post on here very often anymore but come on to look and today to post something very similar and I can completely understand why you think no contact would make things easier. I too have a 7 yr old daughter who I am considering seeking counselling for.

I will echo the other posts tho at the moment and say dont stop contact, but see if the counselling helps.

Cant offer any further advice as its the same advice I seek ! Good luck and hoep your children are ok .

Zod