Shared Custody

Hello,

My ex tells me he is applying for shared custody, even though he knows this will cause our two young children considerable upset. He was emotionally and verbally abusive to me during the marriage- I contacted citizens advice, local police and a solicitors to seek advice regarding his abuse. He also involved our little boy in his abuse and was very physically intimidating in front of our young children. I currently have the children full time, though he sees them two days a week. He also used to walk out on me and the children at least 4 times a year, has a long history of being verbally abusive and did things like tried to break doors down in front of our children. I am so scared his lies may be believed.

What is the likelihood of him gaining shared custody?

Your ex will have difficulty in obtaining an order for shared custody. Orders for "custody" and "access" were replaced with "residence "and "contact " in 1989. Last month Residence and Contact Orders were replaced with Child Arrangement Orders which determine where children live and when they see their parents.

When children spend a significant time with both parents they may be seen to live in two homes but not necessarily equal time sharing which isn''t that common. Living in two homes can be in different proportions from 50:50 and usually the courts are reluctant to upset children''s sense of security and established bonds so it is an uphill struggle changing the status quo unless there is independent professional evidence (school, social services etc) that children aren''t surviving satisfactorily.

Thank you. I moved into rented to escape my ex and his abuse a few months ago. The boys are now happier than ever. The eldest especially has really settled at school and is now a happy, growing in confidence little boy. My ex scares me by saying he has more money than I do. He has also told total lies on the Petition for divorce- he says he''s a victim of domestic violence. Which is total lies. I responded by saying it was all untrue. I''m terrified he''ll somehow be believed. I''ve contacted lots of people/agencies over the years- as I needed help regarding his nasty temper and outbursts. The majority of the time it was verbal and emotional abuse, at times involving the children. Can I do anything to help support my case? He seems to be filming the children whenever he sees them. Which is really bizarre- like he''s collating evidence? How seriously would 5 mins of film of boys at a zoo etc be taken? Can the courts be deceived this easily? My little boys have coped with the split really well, as I''ve planned for their needs and put their well being first in everything. My ex is however scaring me that he''ll take them. He has said things like- he won''t stop until I''m living in total poverty, unable to provide for the boys, then he''ll swoop in and take them. I''m so so scared. I''m such a good mum and have always put them first. Will he be believed? Sorry, I''m just so scared of his lies. Many thanks