Taking children away during term - who''s decision?

I see my kids every Wednesday, I pick them up from school and spend the evening with them.

My ex has said that I can''t see them the week after next, as she''s taking them away for the day, out of school for a special occasion, and it''s none of my business what they''re doing. This really bugged me, and the more I think about it, just because they live most days with her, she surely does NOT have the right to take them out of school without my agreement, right?

And to do that on a day where I would see them? Given that this arrangement came out of mediation, yet is still based on nothing formal, no court proceedings whatsoever, I presume I have zero recourse here, other than just being as shitty as she is?

Hi,

Has she offered to make the time up that you will be loosing on another day? Maybe she would let you have them on Tues or Thurs evening. I don''t think there is anything you can do to stop her, but it would be courteous of her to offer you another day. But if she really doesn''t want to offer an alternative, there''s nothing you can do

She told me I could have them Thursday instead, when I can''t collect them from school from my work commitments. No debate, no please, no thank you.

There''s really nothing stopping her taking them out of school without my approval? I''m not looking to cause any trouble, but sure;y I''m not irrelevant in whether my kids go to school or not?

I have been in the same position as you, schools are no longer able to authorise absence unless the situation is genuinely exceptional - funeral etc.

I would speak to the achool and see if she has applied for the absence and also find out if its been authorised.

Get it recorded on school files that you do not agree to the children being taken out of school.

Don''t get too hung up over 1 day.

It''s a special occasion (to her) for the kids so she will have notified the school to get approval.
Also, 1 day absence is not a big deal. The kids could fall ill and not attend school anyway.

She did offer you to see the kids on a different day. I think you should exercise some flexibility.
I say you should send a note to the mother and wish the kids have a good time for that special day. See it as a positive thing for the kids. You will try to spend time with the kids on another day.

Stop nit-picking each other. I hope both parents will become more flexibility over time.

I''m not nit picking, this is just an example of how I''m being marginalised out of my kids lives. I''m very confrontation adverse, and she''s extremely controlling, and she''s just increasingly refusing to let me be a part of their lives unless I father them exactly as she sees fit. I''m just aware that I need to start getting something resembling a back bone rather than just have my kids whittled away from me. She states how things will be, refuses to discuss things. She slammed the door in my face the other day as I let the kids have watered down fruit juice with their meals etc.

As far as flexibility goes, I''m extremely flexible, she is not.

Are you still having the children every weekend or did you manage to negotiate some weekends for yourself? Not that it''s really relevant to your question, I was just asking