Children don''t want to go back to the mother

Pls help quickly. With advice. After six weeks on not seeing my kids. She has stopped me from seeing them. I have asked children what''s been going on ... There''s been allegation to the mother of how they are look after by the mother. There has been. Slaps , shouting and certainly mentally abuse by their mother. I asked my children about being hit and they said it happens most of the time. I''m panicking and angry and feel more useless. I asked for an advice from social service. They said that they will have to go and pay a visit. If they found that my children were in danger .. They would immediately remove from her. As I ask question to my children about being treated .. I feel that they are not in danger and it would jeopardise my case as I want to fight for the custody .. However I don''t know what to do .. They all said they don''t want to go back .. It hurts me not knowing what to do.
Pls advice quickly as I have to take them back tomorrow .. And I I don''t want to either

Have you already applied for contact?

Not returning the children could really inflame the situation and possible backfire.

I would only keep the children if they are at serious risk of harm.

No I''ve not applied for contact but I will now.

I feel that my children are not in danger .. But it breaks my heart when they told me lots of things . I feel uses less ,, I advise the children to write everything what has happened . And if they feel they are feel in danger they would have to report themselves. But I don''t know if I''ve done the right thing.
It''s tearing me apart as a father ,,

How old are your children?

Looking at the big picture here, it is easy to surmise that there is tension and bitterness between you and your ex. Probably with reason. However, your posts above have a very ''urgent'' and ''desperate'' quality to them. I understand your concerns and am sympathetic to your endeavour. However, if you are transmitting this sense of desperation to your children, there is great risk that you alienate them from their mother. I would urge you not to consider your own feelings here. Not even to consider the previous actions of your ex. My priority in your situation would be to protect those children from losing either parent right now.

In questioning them as you are, you are colluding and actively encouraging them to fight any smaller battle they may have with mum. None of us are perfect and, if we have issues with how the other is parenting, there are recourses other than to expose to the children all the faults of the other parent. If you pursue that route, it will become impossible for the children to have a relationship with one of you. It may be her now, but that could dramatically change as they grow older.

Shezi

Is this new behaviour? Caused by stress?

Me, I wouldn''t send my children back if they were in danger but I''d be willing to take the consequences. However, your being advised by people who know better than me.

I don''t see why you can''t go to the police - if they are bing hit probably bruising.

Depending on the age of the children, they will play to the conflict they feel.

If you listen to mine (7 and 12) i am a screaming lunatic who never let them do what they want and force them to do homework all the time, and my ex is a violent deranged sex addicted maniac who got his girlfriend on ebay.... i am not kidding!!!

If you feel they are not in danger, send them back. Putting yourself on the wrong side of the law will of course jeopardize any future endeavor to get contact or custody. Maybe have a quiet discussion with their mother, if you feel she can hear what you have to say. It''s not always easy having to be a single parent, and sometimes any discussion from the other partner is taken as a criticism of the parenting.

Get as much contact as you can. Her not having the children might give her the break she needs if she is stressed. If not, at least you get to see them. Sending them back is always a big heartache anyway, no matter how peaceful the situation is.