Counselling, who pays?

Hi,

Currently I am the main carer for my 12yr DD as she is choosing not to spend 50/50 time with her mother. She is having a very difficult time dealing with STBXW''s infidelity, especially now as STBXW is pregnant with OM''s child.

DD behaviours had become very concerning and she had threatened self harm and suicide, Social Services and CAMHS then became involved. DD attacked STBXW, due to the tremendous emotional distress she was under. STBXW was asked to leave FMH by Social Services as STBXW had refused to move out and was happy to carry on affair whilst still living in the FMH. Which was causing immense distress to all of us. So DD and our other 2 children where put under a child protection plan. Social Services have just recently closed the case as children are no longer deemed to be at risk. I have constantly pushed for counselling through all of this for our kids, however GP, Social services and CAMHS refused to make referrals. So I am having to seek this support privately and will make whatever sacrifices necessary to help my kids. It is going to be tough as I am currently in counselling myself and will need to continue to fund that as well.

So my questions would be; do I need STBXW consent to carry on with the counselling for my DD as she has only had an initial assessment? I do have PR, and currently her main carer. DD is also very keen to carry on with sessions and seemed to bond with the therapist. She has been very reluctant in past to open up to other professionals who have been involved in her care, so I don''t want to lose the opportunity for her to get this support.

Would there be any legal recourse to force STBXW to contribute, as she is refusing at this time, to help with any financial contribution towards our DD''s counselling?

Many thanks

Is your stbx paying child maintenance?

Yes and no, she is only willing to pay £30 a month as that is what the CSA calculator indicates she is only required to pay. I am currently in receipt of CB for 2 of our kids and child tax credits etc and appointee for my disabled son''s DLA.

I pay the mortgage, secured second loan and all other bills relating to FMH as well as all school meals, trips and after school clubs etc. And pretty much anything else the kids need. STBXW will buy the odd thing for the kids but will then use that expenditure as a "credit" towards her CM payments.

Unfortunately she doesnt have to pay anything else other than the csa amount.

My child has to have therapy because of his fathers action and although he is supposed to pay half agreed in court he refuses to and apparently I can''t do anything about it. I also have to pay privately as nhs and cahms although agree that he needs therapy he apparently does not meet their criteria for the help and this is a child with special needs.

Thank you for that. Seems very unfair that she can walk away from the issues she caused. Is it worth fighting this? Especially as she lives with OM and benefits from his financial support?

Can she withhold her consent for counselling?

Thank you Driven, my eldest is special needs too and my DD has been through CAMHS twice yet doesn''t tick their boxes for support or diagnosis. Our poor kids have been through so much it''s only when they are completely broken does something tend to happen from a NHS/CAHMS perspective but by then its normally too late.

Not helped by unsupportive stbx''s who don''t want to face the consequences of their own actions and doing what''s right by their kids.