Parent asking children to steal and using children

I was about to take my daughters back to my ex when I noticed that they had both filled their bags with hair bands.

The hairbands have been bought by me and i am not precious about them, they lose them more often than not, but they had emptied our basket.

When I asked the first about it she told me mummy had offered a prixe to whoever could take the most back to mummies....

I immediately spoke to my other daughter who confirmed the story, stating that my ex had said that she kept sending them to my house and i never sent any back. but they were to take them seceretly without me knowing

I gave them 10 each and sent them back.

The contact order i have states that all property can be taken between the two houses, but they are not to be asked to keep secrets from the other parent.

aside from the criminal offence of theft or burglary can I use my own evidence to go through the court on the contact order. she will inevitably say she didnt do it and I am lying.

Welcome to Wikivorce le-marv

I think this is one of those situations where you have to let it go. We are talking about hairbands here, presumably for your daughters to wear in their hair rather than for you to wear in yours . Small items like hairbands/clips etc that travel back and forth between the two homes often accumulate in one home or the other. You did the right thing in giving the girls 10 hairbands each but it is really not worth perusing - there certainly has been no criminal act committed here.

Choose your battles wisely I would say.

Thanks both,

I agree with you both, i suppose this post was cathartic as I agree hairbands are minimal in cost...... i think that is why I am so annoyed that the children were put in that position.

it is a ''let it go'' situation. I have to ''let go'' school jumpers at £20 a go (gggrrrrrr!!!!!) on an all too regular basis. Ex swears he doesn''t have them. I don''t say anything to the children - just check lost property at school regularly in case they are there - and I just grit my teeth and buy another one. Some fights you will never win and I am afraid this is one of them.

I also agree with the others just let it go.There is no point going on about it.
I had laptops go missing and a games console oh and brand new clothes too never came back either.
Just take a deep breath and count to 3 x

When I read your post I could imagine that the conversation with mum and daughters could have been v lighthearted and not intended as theft or anything. Apart from anything else, it would be better all round if you treated it as such. I know all too well how easy it is to get wound up about this sort of thing (I do it all the time) but I am finding that it really helps to (try to!) assume the best, for my own peace of mind.

Can''t say I always succeed