Easter without kids

I just realised this was my first Easter without children in 12 years - no wonder it feels so quiet and strange. My sister-in-law sent me a photo of her 3 younger kids with their Easter egg hauls which was bittersweet as they were with my boys at ex''s house yesterday. I agreed that my boys could go away with them at Christmas too which will be tough. Just having a whinge - I realise there are plenty of dads here who miss out on these holidays regularly, and that my ex has a right to share holidays with them too.

I so feel for you Vastra1! My kids are away with their Dad this Easter and I feel like I''m walking around with a limb missing!! I totally take on board what my friends say about using the time to do something for myself and relaxing and I know they need time with their Dad but somehow my heart is breaking... We are still living in the same house as divorce not quite complete, so I suppose I am sampling a bit of my future life. I have no answers but hope you get through it OK. The holidays will always be difficult I think.

Hello Vastra and hugs to you and all who are missing their families. Mine is scattered and it is painful, but at least I am not all alone. xxx

Sending hugs to you all. However much we know the logic - the kids must spend time with the both sets of parents... Most of us did not go into parenthood with the idea we would do it alone or separately. For those of us who were cheated upon, it feels as we have been cheated of our whole and complete family, not just our partners and it aches in ways it is impossible to describe.

I have a friend who is crying toady because after 20 years she is not sharing her newly born first grandchild with her ex.

Hey ho.

Vastra, sending you a hug belatedly. Today a normal working day thank goodness. Special occasions seem to increase the pain of separation tenfold. I am already dreading Xmas and may book myself into a silent retreat in order to cope. We know what that pain feels like. I was trying to describe it to my daughter (age 20) when she proposed popping round to my inlaws on Sunday where my ex and his partner (my old friend) were. They have all cut off from me, actually from the moment he formed his new attachment. Out with the old and in with the new. I still live down the road from his mother and two sisters so it''s all very uncomfortable.
In the end I threw a massive tantrum as she could not understand and continued to press the point (I didn''t understand before it happened to me). I had already compromised with Easter Monday. She didn''t go, it did not feel like a Victory and all I could do was set my mind to moving away soon when the inevitable may not be so painful. If my girls had been smaller, I probably would have been that Mum who moved 100 miles away. Vastra, you are behaving very decently round all of this and I take my hat off to you.

I am also thinking of going away somewhere for Christmas. Sad to be thinking of that already isn''t it?! What galls me is that I didn''t choose this, and yet the two people who ripped my family apart get to still enjoy the big combined family celebrations. I hate that I am back to wasting headspace on the adulterous hypocritical cow of an OW and that I''m having dreams of yelling at ex! Should add I''m packing to move too which doesn''t help. I will be fine - as always better to vent here than risk being rude with ex or letting them know how it still hurts.

Shame to exchange Oz winter for ours, Vastra, but had you thought of coming over to meet some of your wiki friends? x