Amending dates of contact with kids. Can i?

My ex moved last Aug 70 miles away and the court order details that I see them every other weekend during term time with her dropping off on a fri and me taking back on Sunday evening.

Holidays are split with easter and Christmas alternating.

For summer holidays one year I have them the first two weeks of holiday then ex has them for a week and then I have for week and then ex has for two weeks.


In the order it states unless otherwise agreed.

I have a new job and it is not as flexible.

Consequently the middle week I cannot do.
I have offered her to swap. I have offered to allow her to choose any three weeks as long as one of the weeks is the one I cannot do and ex just refuses.

I don''t have family to call upon and am working away so cannot have the kids even in day care as I will be in a hotel room.

I am now at the point when I am thinking I am just going to have to say I cannot have them.

For background since Aug ex has swapped Weekends without asking me first and when I wanted to swap a weekend to have kids to go to sisters wedding was told no. Before kids and ex moved I had kids half the time so it''s not like I am doing bare minimal.

What can happen to me if I say I will not be around to have kids dropped off.

Thanks in advance.

Have you offered to pay for childcare costs if your ex has the children that week?

If you cant have the children then you will be breaking the court order which could cause issues. I guess you could return to court for a specific issue order.

She says she will not change dates. offered childcare costs and still no no.

I cannot afford to go back to court or have holidays left to attend court.

Did ex
get permission to move so far away with kids?

Who is court order for contact in favour of?

I originally went to court when I was looking after the kids fifty fifty and had done for two years when all of a sudden ex changed dates so I could I only have at altwrnate weekends and half holidays.

She refused mediation so I went to court which took two months to arrange.
A week before court hearing she suddenly announced she was moving away.

So original hearing to discuss returning to status quo changed into a hearing about moving.

I was prepared to fight for children staying with me ie less disruption for kids her reason for moving was to be with boyfriend but all the reading I did suggested I could spend a lot of money and ex and kids would still move. So I decided at court with my solicitor and CAFCASS talking to her to get some terms nailed down with regards to contact going forward. Ie she does the drop off on a fri when I see the kids and getting dates agreed for holidays in summer. The reason for trying to put dates down was for previous two years she had dictated summer holidays meaning that I never got a two week window.

So the court order or whatever its agreed put that when she moved the kids would be with her.

It states that I have the children on certain weeks. And I am wanting to change that week.

Reading through the court order it looks like I can never go away on a two week holiday anyway (another issue) as the two weeks I have is ot enough time to get kids get to airport holiday for two weeks and get them from airport to mums. I actual need two weeks and one day as one day is travelling time up that''s a separate issue.

In the order it says if I do not comply I could be committed to prison or fined if I do not comply. But I can''t comply!

Seems strange as far as I know a contact order usually states that the parent with the majority of care must make the children available for contact as per the order.

You can''t be forced to look after your children or have contact with them.

All Contact or Child Arrangement Orders should have a warning notice attached and are served on *both* parties. Strictly speaking if circumstances change and no agreement can be reached to change the terms of the order you should apply to vary the order. However the courts enforce orders for the benefit of a child and forcing a parent to care for a child when the don''t want to or can''t look after them isn''t deemed to be in the interests of the child.

The problem with not complying with the order is it will be difficult to enforce the order if your ex subsequently breaks the terms because a judge would have difficulty in choosing between the two sides.

In the long term parents can''t keep going back to court all the time to resolve issues. It''s worth considering mediation to try to improve communication so agreement can be reached. Future problems can then be resolved constructively and solutions found that work for everyone.