Why do I feel this way?

Why do I always feel so sh*t and cry when my boys stay with their dad for the night? I still haven''t got used to it and hate the way it makes me feel. I have plenty to keep me occupied and am even going out with friends later. I dread every other Saturday the nearer it gets to them going the more anguished I feel. The rest of the time I am ok.

Any suggestions please?

sorry none at all because i feel the same and my stbx has taken my youngest from me so i know exactly how you feel.
i just try to keep busy and i suppose we should just be glad for some me time.

maybe in time this one will be true but i would be happy to have my kids 24/7.
maybe i need to get myself a life.
i can handle stbx not being here in fact life is better without him but what i cant cope with is when the kids are not here.

sorry i have no words of wisdom for you but sending big hugs as i feel your pain.

If the children are happy going then you have to accept that this is your issue and you need to deal with this.

What is it that upsets you? What do you fear? Do you have abandonment issues?

Its important that you dont pass this on to your children. Dont let them see you upset as that''s unfair on them. They will feel guilty.

Probably dad feels the same when the boys come back to you. Its only natural.

Thanks everyone to their comments.

MrsMaths

I don''t know what it is that upsets me, hence my post. I can''t put my finger on it. My kids are happy to go to their dads'' place. I accept they need to see him and I accept these are my issues that I need to work out but I don''t know how.

My kids don''t ever see me upset about this issue, as I hold it together when they are here. I let it in when they''ve gone.

Stepper

I am not concerned with how their dad feels when they come back to me, that''s for him to deal with. Call me harsh but I am trying to work on myself here.

Thanks for your comments though.

I think you are amazing. I have no idea how i would cope, my children have left home but i miss them dreadfully. I can keep everything together through work, social, even bedtime but i seem to lose it in the car,not day to day driving but on long journeys. I miss everything i used to have and coming home to an empty house is awful.Stay strong. big hugs

You are allowed to miss them, you are allowed to fear losing them, all that is completely understandable and a very human loving response of a natural mother.

I have a very dear friend who has exactly the same anguish, and I love her for it, and just wish I could take her fear of further loss from her.

You probably already plan jobs to do when they are away, hopefully you are also including some ''me pampering'' during that time. It won''t necessarily completely take your mind of their absence but when they come bowling back through your front door, having freshly painted toenails can only add to the happiness.