up to her old tricks again.

Well hello everyone , hope everybody is well this sunny weekend .

It seems the ex wife does not like sticking to her aggreements . It has been endless weeks now of obstructed contact , a bit harsh to say the least .

Week before last she pulled the same ,poor effort. No one there at the home and then giving text messages after the time I have arrived at the home .with lame excuse.

Well today was no exception ...rushed at work to finish my job to get home tidy up and drive to there home for contact. I knocked the door few times but no one again at the property ,so waited on the pavement and texted the the ex wife ,I was here waiting outside .

30 minutes later zilch response at all ...so could only assume she was being hostile by refusing to comply.

By repeatedly failing week after week ,it is a unfair on my children ,because they could feel that I failed to turn up .

This type of treatment is useless ,it goes no where , I turned up ready to initiate contact time with my children but was obstructed yet again .

I do not see why , a person can not easiy adhere to there side of an agreement .
As per usual they have been paid without fail every month ,no payments missed.
To say it unfair treatment is a slight understatement.
But sadly this is the way it is . I turn up get fobbed of humiliated,call it what you will. As said prior not expecting no special treatment because I am a Nrp, just for everyone in there roles to do them to best of there ability,in this case failing contact has not come across as a person who has put 100% into committing to ensuring children fully meet there emotional needs from both parents .

I find it really strange when a person keeps on pulling the ole "hostility routine" to ensure a child loses out .

I know this is not the way contact is meant to be .

The way I thought ''Contact'' would be very fair. It has been far from it .

I''m not looking for sympathy etc...just explaining repeatedly obstructed on contact weekends is an utter joke

I do not think I am asking for anything too much ,I am not being greedy just that the person sticks to there word ,obviously in this case ...not . Don''t get me wrong I am not intelligent for one moment but I know unjust treatment .

Will try again next time .

Diggingdeep

I''m really sorry and I wish there was a way to make it better.

so sorry to hear of your trouble.
you sound like such a good dad and are doing your best under difficult circunstances

Thankyou for replying. Sadly this type of low quality understanding..it is common.
I go every weekend ,I mean alternate weekend but because she has failed most weekends ,and shown disregard for emotional welfare ,even a fool knows children with minimal contact is a downward spiral and is a disgrace on any human being .i think this person feels somehow this is the way forward for child contact ..what planet are they on .lol
I got in my car drove away after 40 minutes of being stood outside , any person of a normal mindset would have communicated a message/ phone call.
Booking changing obstructing denying contact ...is only damaging children.
Think these persons get so wrapped up with there emotions,they somehow justify emotional cruelty,because that is what it comes down to .
As a nrp i expect so much , but all that happens is primary carer continually wants them all the days. We all know a child growing up is hard enough in itself, but knowingly adding to that heartache of ruining contact when it suits them. You will find most nrp like myself want no confrontation with her no her partner at all. I feel sad for my kids that they are bestow this useless approach
Endless hostility to feul contact breakdown ,well done guys for zero insight into shared parenting ,think a child deserves nothing better than a botched effort.
So this week my kids have been rewarded by primary carer only an embarrassing amount of contact time . Does not seem very fare that they be punished .

Diggingdeep

Sorry that this situation continues.

Do you get any contact or does she avoid you every time? It must be so time consuming making sure she isn''t at home every time you are due to arrive.

Situations like yours make me so cross, especially when there isn''t much you can do about it. You could try court but it appears pretty toothless most of the time.

If someone in your position decided to stop paying child maintenance, immediately there is a system in place to sort it out. Bet if she couldn''t get cm without contacting taking place she would suddenly decide contact was in the best interest of the children!

Thankyou for the reply.primary carer is utter nightmare has been like this since day one of divorce six years ago every underhand trick in the boor ,this person now is well briefed in facilitating of ruined contact .
I try my best but over Time ..she has really worked heavily upon denigration with my role as ''dad'' . Fare does if there was a monthly award for being soo committed to a child losing out on quality Time ,they would be up there sadly .
Only 1 child visits midweek for a short period , the other whom is slightly older has bizarrely started to ignore me and does not visit on contact days, but saying that , primary carer arranges friends over on my contact days .we all know children pick up on everything and are very impressionable to people in there immediate surroundings as per there view or understanding of the other parent. I can assure you this treatment is dire , the answers to all things I ask is ''NO''
Week away with my kids ''NO'' to visit relatives
Only primary carers family is allowed to envolved .... She has new live in boyfriend ,now my contact has. Stopped ,always sham lies ,hostile aggressive behaviour / coaching you name it .
It is not nice to deal with dishonest person over matters of importance child contact.
I bet there is loads of great mums out there foing a wonderful job in taking there role as a parent ensuring there child is offered the best chance of growing up knowing both parents ,sadly I have the one who thinks a happy child is a child who does not see nor speak with his parent.

Diggingdeep

Thankyou for your reply ,primary carer paid without fail no issues.

Usually the children will come to the door and let me know they have '' friends over '' .
Every midweek contact one child won''t visit ,and they other child visits .
No attempt by primary carer to get contact back on track . The weekend alternate are very important as a dad to be there for them .
House empty ,non replying to messages some of the time , or the ''they have other plans '' routine. She does not like I turn up ,and put up with everything she does in the name of ''kids best interest'' .
They (primary carer and the partner) refuse to be fair on any level ,they have steamrolled me with persistent harsh treatment.
This person holds the key to good contact ,think this person should chose to be better at there role .

Diggingdeep