broken hearted children

Hi husband left 2 weeks ago and my 11 year old boy who adores his dad is heart broken crying every night at bed time. I am giving lots of cuddles and reassurance but it is breaking my heart. Which is aleady broken by my husband. Really struggling to get through a day let alone a night. My 9 year old has just shut himself away. Mean while my husband is off living with his new family. He does come to see them twice a week but this makes it worse for us all. reaaly feel that i can''t go on

Sorry you and your children are going through this. I hope the children''s father will want a lot of contact with the children as this will be best for them. Is there any way you can let your husband know how much the children are hurting?

Is dad collecting the childen for his contact time or awkwardly hanging around pretending nothing happened?

Its still very early on and the three of you are shocked and hurt. All you can do is reassure your boys and support them in dealing with the situation. I know it might seem easier to stop contact and not see your stbx but long term the childen will benefit from contact with dad.

Really feel for you.
Sadly there is no magic wand to wave to make your children feel better- your husband has chosen to leave the family.
He will argue that it is "only you" he has left but the harsh reality is that he has put their needs second to his own.
I do understand , my ex went to live with ow and her daughter(who was our daughter''s best friend!)
I have tried to keep the relationship going between my daughter and her father, but now 4+ years on, she has decided she wants very little contact- try and keep the lines of communication open with your husband but be prepared for fall-out -he will not accept any responsibility for your sons'' distress.
Try and get your other son to talk with you or a family friend- bottling it up will not help him long term.
Accept any help offered, now is not the time to take on everything yourself.
Keep posting on Wiki-we will all help.((hugs.))

i just wanted to add my support. All the advice you have had is good. It is the thing I will never forgive my ex for. Hurting my children....their children.....I will never understand how they could....but they do and we must do our best to be constants in our children''s lives while the partners that leave are not.....but it is often an rocky ride and these young people have lost their trust. You are not alone.

I think it may be useful to look into possible counselling/groups for your son (or the 2 of you). Or maybe a family friend or relative will spend some time with him, he won''t want to worry you by talking about things. Sometimes someone a bit removed from the situation can really help out.

I asked my brother to keep a check on my son, he took him out one to one, made sure he knew he could contact him anytime etc.
Boys are a bit more tricky and they get embarrassed about being upset, especially at 11, it is not easy. I suppose think of it as grieving and that does get a little easier each day, although is overwhelming initially .

It must be very hard for you to see, I wish you well, it will get easier.

Make sure you keep the school informed, they may be able to offer some pastoral support for the children or point you in the right direction.