Firm advice needed

My son has a shared residence order which has been working well for several years. The children are now 15 and 11. We have just bought a caravan in Wales and my son (through me as they do not communicate) indicated to his ex. that he would like to bring the boys back a bit later than the usual 12 p.m. handover. His ex. said as she was going out, he could bring them back at 6 p.m. OK so far, but he then let his ex. know that his employers were in the process of giving him a concession to tie in with the court order, so that he would be off each Saturday on week 1, and each Saturday and Sunday on week 2. He said that once this was in operation, his hours would be fixed and swapping weeks once the new hours started, but would not feasible. Rather than being pleased because my son had manage to organise his time so that he would be there for the boys, his ex. rescinded her agreement to the later hand over as ''there was now no flexibility'' and the children had better be there at 12 on the dot for the change over.

Putting his head on the block - what could be the likely outcome if he did not come back at 12 on the dot and delayed for an hour or so. Any comments would be very welcome.

In addition, the change over takes place at my house as it states this in the original court order, and she refuses to collect the children from my son''s house (despite the fact her husband is usually with her), and this means I have always had to be in for the change over. From my own point of view, there are times when I would like to do my own thing instead of waiting until my ex dil picks the children up. I feel I am under the control of someone else, but would I be breaking the court order if I was not present for the change over.

Stepper,

If the court order states the return handover is at 12pm, then that''s the time your son needs to adhere to. Your ex-DiL has not agreed to extend that handover time, and so if your son is late then in effect he is in breach of the order.

Re the handovers being at your home - does the order state you must be present, or simply that your home is the venue for return handovers? If it states that it''s simply the venue, then no you don''t need to be there, your son can facilitate the handover from your home.

Hi Ruth - thanks for your reply. I have been thinking about the inadvisability of returning the children late and will be advising my son to ensure he is on time.

Regarding the collection of the children from my house, in the first order it says collection from grandparents house, and in the second order it makes no mention of the collection point. So perhaps I need not be physically present.

The court order has been invaluable to my son and it has worked well. Sticking to it on both sides will almost certainly be best for the children.

I think it is a shame that they cannot seem to communicate, but my son has a habit of giving his opinion when he thinks the children are not being put first, which he ex. finds objectionable! His ex has informed me that she no longer requires my son in her life and has moved on. We would like to move on too, but when there are children it is not so easy. The whole thing makes me feel a bit sad, that they have not been able to remain amicable following the divorce.