parential alienation

well been a few months since I posted as I hoped things would get better but alas no.
3 children oldest 2 were with me and ex had taken the youngest in a bitter custody battle.
he has now managed to turn the middle child against me and she has been with her dad since dec.
I have asked for her to return and he is refusing even though there is a court order in place for her to be with me.
I have only seen her for a short time over xmas she refused all contact and wont meet me.
he has now said that she wants to live with him also and is doing everything he can to wipe me out of her life aswell.

I managed to see her this week and I amm heartbrokern.
she told me that she hated me that I have been a terrible mum and there is no way that she is comimg back,
both the ypunger children make up lies and say I am horrible to them even when I have other people here who say I am not.this hated is even extending to other family members and friends who have been nothing but kind to them.
there is also a new woman on the scene but the children have been sworn to secsrecy about her even though they are all out together.
I am looking for advice what do I do.
do I go back to court to enforce the court order and make her come home.
do I leave her with her dad so he can brainwash her more.
my heart is in bits.
no one recognises my babies anymore.not only are they horrible to me its now anyone connected with me.
don''t know what to do anymore.my head tells me to walk away but my heart tells me they need help

Big hugs to you. It is heartbreaking when couples split and then use the children to get revenge.

A friend of mine went through something similar
but now a few years down the line they are slowly realising that it was their father that told a lot of lies. They are all in their 20''s though so have more control over their feelings.

I wish I had some concrete advice, I can only offer you my support in hoping it gets sorted. There may be a wiser wiki who has been through this that can help you.

Takd care x

I feel for you.
My teenagers have treated their father like this. I try atvleast once a week to see his side of things, through gritted teeth! But they will not budge. They see him as destroying our family.
I think, as the previous poster said that once their emotions are easier to deal with, early 20''s they will understand a little better that life isnt always simple.
keep the lines of communications open and good luck

Thanks for the replies.really don''t want to wait until they are in the twenties till they come back.I feel I have lost my role as a mother and the pain of rejection some days feels more than I can bear.maybe someone on here has had something similar.can''t find any help.

How old are your children?

Mum of 3
As you know we have had similar stories.I haven''t seen my daughter in 5 years now.
As I explained to you before she has just got married and had a baby this week but I wasn''t informed of either event.
Some times I think the damage caused by the other partner can be too great and I think we just have to let them go.
As you know as well I recently lost my eldest son he died last June and both of them didn''t attend the funeral.
I think you have to hope they come back but it''s pointless bringing them back kicking and screaming.Hopefully one day they will be mature enough to know both parents love them.

I agree with what sahmfool said - to keep the lines of communication open. Never shut the door regardless of how horrible she is to you or other relatives. Then eventually when she gets over whatever is causing this, or grows out of it, she will realize and hopefully see it wasn''t you that was the problem.
I know this is no consolation when you want a relationship with your own child right now and don''t want to wait but pushing things might make everything worse.
Really hope you can resolve it