Daughters dance exam during her father''s contact

Hi all,

This weekend is the first time my 3 children will be staying overnight with their father. He picks them up at 10 am Saturday and drops them back 5pm Sunday.
Unfortunately this weekend is also my daughters first ballroom dance exam. I take her to all her lessons and pay for all of it. Her father has agreed to take her to her exam, which is great, I think he should see her dance. My problem is I have text him this evening asking if it would be easier if I took her and dropped her back to him as I''ll be coming to watch her dance anyway (it''s an open exam). He has text back saying I''m not to interfere with his contact time and I''m not to turn up at the exam!

How should I handle this? The man tries his hardest to be as difficult as possible in every thing, this weekend is also the first time he''s seen the children in 6 weeks! Tia

This is a tough decision and I''m not sure I''m going to help. I understand you''re disappointed to miss this event as you have been the one who''s taken her to classes and paid for them.

It would have been nice if you could have both been there for the sake of your daughter, but he''s clearly not in that frame of mind yet. It would make sense to make the point that you would like to arrange to take it in turns to be the parent who attends in future.

Can you see it as an ideal time for your ex to bond more with the children? He might take more of an interest the more he is involved in their hobbies and interests. Let this one go and hope that in time you can both attend whatever the children are taking part in.

Hi
It is a difficult situation, and I can see both sides.
I can understand why you would want to be at the exam, but on the other side I can see your ex''s point of view. This is his first weekend with overnight contact, and to his mind you are interfering and in some ways undermining him.
Over time these things tend to settle down a little, but certainly on this occasion you need to respect that it is his contact time.
I have a similar situation this weekend, my son has a martial arts tournament, I don''t take him to lessons but the kids are with me this weekend so I''ll be taking him, my ex could go along, but won''t, its not that I''ve said she can''t, its just that she has her own life when the kids are not with her.

LB