Changing contact schedule....

Hello, For the past two years I have had my yougest daughter(now 12) every weekend for one (alternating) day and night of each weekend. The divorce process has continued through all of this, my wife will not communicate and does everything she can to make things difficult (this is relevant )

Last weekend my daughter went to Guide Camp for the weekend and I could not have her. The result was my first weekend where I could plan something and go away and it was refreshing and liberating. I think it would be better for me and my daughter if we move to me having her one complete weekend every other, and not having her at all the alternating weekend. I would request to supplement that with having her for tea after school one night per week.

I know my wife will refuse, as it is what I would like, do I have any control over this, do I have any powers to force a change?

Our arrangements are voluntary and we have not been to court. I just want to ask her, know she will say no and not sure what if anything I can do thereafter......

Thanks for any advice.

Your daughter being able to have a whole weekend with each parent is a good idea. Why not suggest a mid-week overnight with you as well.

Why not set out your proposals in a child-focused parenting plan, setting out not just the weekend/mid-week proposals, but also cover school holidays, inset days, Mothers/Fathers Day, birthdays, Christmas & other significant special days/celebrations. When it''s completed, give it to you ex to consider and for her thoughts on the new proposals, and ask for her proposals in return. If you aren''t able to find common ground and come to an agreement between yourselves, then you will need to attend mediation to help you come to an agreement. Once you have that agreement, you can set out the arrangements in a Parenting Agreement. Even if you are considering a court application, you will still need to attend a MIAM at the very least, and it''s always a good idea to offer full mediation to show that you are willing to seek an amicable agreement between you rather than going to court.

What you are suggesting isn''t unreasonable at all - I would say that it''s actually at the lower end of the scale in terms of your daughter spending time with you.

Thank you and yes I agree, it is not a great deal of time, but my job does take me overseas on an almost weekly basis and so difficult to have a regular week day pattern. But yes I could easily have her for one night per week, on an ''as I can'' basis.

Sounds a good idea to write down a plan, there are advantages to my daugter as well as me. When it is only one night/day per weekend it is difficult to plan as much, it becomes more counting down time to 6PM when I have to take her back, a whole weekend allows me to think ahead and go places for the weekend etc.

I do not want this to go to court, it has been hard enough doing that on the still unresolved finances. I am hoping that when they are sorted in the coming months(through court) my wife may become more reasonable to negotiate with, she will not communicate directly with me and it makes everything very difficult and a conflict.

But thanks again for the good advice, that is how I will proceed.