At what age can a child consent to contact?

Hello. I am father of a boy who I have not seen in over 6 years.

My ex took me to court and after several hearings and reports by CAFCASS I walked. I wanted nothing more to do with the process and wanted to get on with my life. The court and CAFCASS put an order in place removing all contact. I am not allowed written contact, telephone calls or any supervised contact.

My son is now secondary school age. He has expressed that he wants to meet with me but I know my ex will use the court orders she has to prevent me. Cafcass deemed I pose no risk to the child but because I refused to "play the game" they barred me.

So I know the courts will take exception to my actions but legally if I now show up as a father and meet up with my son after school and take him out for a meal it is no longer a criminal matter?

I can safely take my son out? Notify my ex that he is with me and as long as I have his consent then the police are powerless to act? It would be a civil matter and would need my ex to drag me back before a family court judge? I can instruct the police to just go away and stop harassing a father who is out with his son?

I would appreciate any advice here and would also prefer the single mothers and other people to spare me the moral lectures. Thanks

Hello and Welcome to Wikivorce.

It's great that your son would like to start spending time with you - but you must respect the fact that there is an existing court order which prevents you from having any type of contact with your son.

The older your son is, the more his wishes and feelings will be taken into account by CAFCASS should you make any future application - or should his mother seek any variation or enforcement of the current order. Once a child reaches the age of 16, they are (usually) no longer the subject of child court orders.

You say "they barred me" - do you mean you were given a s91(14) order which prevents you from making any further applications in respect of your child?


"I can safely take my son out?" - not without breaching the current court order

"Notify my ex that he is with me and as long as I have his consent then the police are powerless to act?" As there is an existing order preventing you from having any type of contact at all with your son, the police could insist that your son returns to his mother.

"I can instruct the police to just go away and stop harassing a father who is out with his son?" - it wouldn't be harassment as you would be in breach of a court order.

I appreciate that you wish to avoid further court action, but it may well be the only recourse avaible to you (providing there isn't a s91(14) in place).

"would also prefer the single mothers and other people to spare me the moral lectures. " You do our members a great disservice with that comment.


There is obviously a very long and complicated history here; it's difficult to advise fully without being aware of the facts.

There is a section 91 order in place. I can no longer pursue any applications for contact through court. Only real option left to me is to meet up with my son and be in contempt of court. Something that I am more than prepared to do. I lost all faith in due legal process a long time ago.

How does that sit with the police though? Am I commiting a criminal act by taking my son out for a meal? Last thing I want is for my son to witness an arrest.

The act of taking your son out for a meal itself isn't a criminal offence, but breaching the order is contempt of court. Depending on the case and the nature of the breaches involved, the court has the power to order community service, a fine, and in cases of the most serious and repeated breaches, a court can have the power to issue a prison sentence.

How old is your son currently?

So can the police arrest me? As far as I am aware there are no powers of arrest attached to the order.

I am more than happy to be dragged back into court for contempt of court charges just want to spare my son the trauma of witnessing an arrest.

My son is 11.

I've no idea if the police would actually arrest you or not - I suspect they would encourage (strongly) that you return son to his mother. It certainly wouldn't be a scene that your son should be subjected to.

Re your s91(14) - does it state how long the bar on future applications is for? It is possible to apply to ahve the bar lifted, but it's not a straight-forward process. www.familylawweek.co.uk/site.aspx?i=ed84124

Well if the police have no powers to arrest then the most they can do is deliver a notice that a complaint has been made but they will take no action. If handled correctly it is no big scene and they can be instructed to leave the scene once they have delivered the notice.

The section 91 order runs for another 5 years. By then he will be 16 so will be able to make the decision to come and stay with me and the courts will be largely powerless to stop him. I have no plans to try and overturn the section 91 order. Just to do everything I can now with my son to get around the order.