I want us to separate, what can I do? !

In need of much needed support and advice. I don't love my husband, haven't done for many years. He had an affair soon after we were married, been married 17 year's now and I've always felt not good enough. He tells me he loves me and wants me to fall back on love with him but I dont think I ever will. I can't even stand it when he wants to kiss me. My children, 10 and 13 see how unhappy I am and it breaks m my heart because I know I could be so much better for them. I suffer with anxiety and depression due to my marriage as well. Constantly taking over the counter pain meds to ease the crappy feeling.
I want my husband to realise that this isn't going to work and im tired of the constant put downs and nasty remarks, and he always says if I want to leave then I have to leave the kids with him, so he knows that I can't.
Please somebody help me! !!!

hi , I am very new to this site and while browsing came across your story, Very sorry to hear it as I know how it feels. I am in a similar position and have lived past 15 years of a marriage in pain. Finally decided to take a step and apply for a divorce. Me and my husband lived like strangers for most of out married life. I can understand your position and it gets complicated when children are involved. But there are laws and you can have custody of your kids.This website is a good step forward to know about what laws there are.
I just want to say that its not worth wasting your life over somebody who doesn't respect or loves you. I have been depressed and suffer from anxiety but since I have decided to take a divorce from my husband i feel much relieved and am much happier.

Do take care and be strong.
x

Hi Tiredmum74

Just wanted to send you a message of support too. I suffered in a long relationship too which caused me much anxiety and depression. I just didnt realise how unhappy and miserable it was making me.

Ill spare the details but it took me over a year to make the decision to go and then about two years to recover mentally and physically, get used to being on my own, single parent, had bereavements etc and I had some pretty terrible days. But it was worth it in then end and I am a much better parent to my daughter and I recently celebrated with her by going on a nice holiday.

No one has the right to make someone feel crap. And sounds like you have put up with a lot. I found out that only I could make my own life better in the end. And when my life was better I was a better dad. Sounds like you have a lot to think through and what is best for you and your children.

There are lots of good people on here to support you in whatever you decide to do or give advice which I found invaluable.

Take your kids and move on and up! Good luck but don't hang around if you're not happy!