Stay At Home Mum

Does anyone know where I could get free financial advice?

I'm a Stay at home mum with no money myself, no assets, no savings, no pension. I've been married for 7 years and together for 16 years, living together in total for about 9 years.

We have a son.

I have nothing. I guess we have our home which is joint, but I really want to know whether my husband should be paying into a private pension for me whilst i am not working.

I am looking for a part time job now my son has started nursery.

My husband is very frugal. He has good money and yet I feel like a burden. I honestly feel he no longer wants to be married.

i often feel like a second class citizen in our home - he is very cold toward me lately.
He has a financial advisor - I have nothing. Where best could I turn?

Thank you in advance.

Is there nothing going from the family pot into a pension for you at the moment?
Do you have access to any money? If not then this sounds like there could be a degree of financial abuse.
Do you receive Child Benefit? If it's going into your name then you should be getting national insurance credits at least which helps towards your state pension.
There is free financial advice on www.moneyhelper.org.uk/en if that helps?

Thank you for your reply..

There is nothing from the family pot going into a pension pot for me, there hasn't been since becoming a stay at home mum for 3.5 years now.

I do have access to money we have a 'joint' account for bills/mortgage/food/petrol/anything our son needs and then a £400 per month 'allowance' for me.. husband also gets the same allowance but has access to lots of money too.. I don't receive child benefit but do credits..

We have a savings account for son.. i get nothing other than a monthly 400.. that's why gang back to work is so important I guess so I can build up a pension and savings of my own as my husband has done..

in hindsight i would have done many things differently..

Remember if you’re married it doesn’t really matter whose names things are in, they all form part of the pot.

On first reading your post I was thinking along the lines of coercive control but it looks as if you do have access to money and also have money that is specifically your own.

What does that money have to cover? Given that you are not earning the amount that you could pay into a pension is limited to £3660 including tax relief a year. Is your husband a higher rate tax payer so it makes more sense to invest in his pension instead? The fact you don’t qualify for child benefit suggests a high income plus a lot of families would struggle to have £400 each personal spending money after everything had been paid.

Sounds like you need to have a conversation about finances with your husband as it is clearly affecting your marriage and he probably has no idea. Perhaps you could ask if you could be included next time he sees the financial advisor? He may just think it is an area you have no interest in so it is one of the jobs that he has taken on for both of you, a lot of couples do that.