Settlement

Sorry, but I think you need some tough talking. Your need isn't really greater than his. The older child is already 18 and won't count. The younger child will be nearly 18 by the time you've gone through the court process. At best your strict need is a two bedroom flat each and soon it will be a one bedroom flat each.

Your income is also too low and you are not maximising your earning capacity. You will be expected to work full time and on minimum wage that is around £5k a month more than you are currently earning. In reality your current earning capacity will be your current hourly rate imputed to full time hours which might be even higher than that. Given the time a case like yours would take in court, you'll be expected to have sorted yourself out with full time employment by then.

Arguably you might get a bit more equity than him to account for the remaining difference in earning capacities but probably no more than 55/45 in your favour.

I would recommend your first step is to find full time work.

Starting point for splitting the pot is 50/50 then it is down to needs and negotiation. You could argue that you need more as you have a lower income but it would be difficult to argue that you need enough for a mortgage free home and renting may have to be considered if the FMH has to be sold.

It is usual for whoever is remaining in the FMH to pay the full mortgage as they have sole use of the property. Is there no way you could afford this at least until your youngest is 18? That would give you more time to find full time work.

If you had £170k of the equity and he was left with £20k equity and £65k pension then that is starting to swing very heavily in your favour. He won’t be able to access the pension for another 7 years and you also need to factor in the cost of moving. If you need to pay £170k for a house it will actually cost you much more than this by the time you add in stamp duty and fees. Plus there will also be the cost of selling the FMH, have you taken that into account with your equity figure?

Are you sure about the pension figures? You have never paid anything in to any pension? His figure also looks on the low side for a 50 year old on that salary.

One important thing we are missing is mortgage capacity. If your ex can raise a mortgage of circa £150k, he would have a similar housing fund to you. His disposable income would be much reduced because he's paying the mortgage. You could be in a not dissimilar position in terms of capital and income.
If you are able to obtain full time employment and raise even a modest mortgage that would ease things considerably. If you do need anything between 70 and 90% of the capital you may need to forego any share of the pension.
I think the courts realise that an apprenticeship does not usually pay sufficient for independence so the housing needs of an 18-21 year old apprentice would still be considered.

You need full financial disclosure and an assessment of mortgage capacity as well as a good look at the costs of rehousing (including shared ownership). If you need legal advice you could consider booking a fixed price legal financial consultation available via this site.

Hadenoughnow

Hi thanks for your reply. I will be finding full time employment

My argument is that I was stay at home mum for many years and I have no qualifications so I would be looking at minimum wage. Both the chikdren will be coming with me and although they will be earning I will still have to support them by giving them a stable family home and I can't just go into 1 bed flat like my ex had with no consideration for the kids. There is no reason he would need a 3 bed house he just doesn't want to see me "get more"

Maybe if I had of gone out to work and enabled myself to have a career we would be on the same level but we didn't so now why should I be penalised because he has the higher wage?

I realise everyone has their own opinions x

That is exactly why there may well be a departure from equality in this case. Your earning capacity and pension have been impacted by caring responsibilities/supportive ex. He is better placed to recover financially.
You need more house now - and could downsize in future to help fund retirement.
He can borrow more funds to house himself in a 2 bed place.
Whether or not the pension is split equally will depend on exactly how much of the equity you need.

Hadenoughnow