Not paying the mortgage

I'm hoping I've posted in the correct forum as this is my first post here.

My husband and I separated 2 years ago and I moved out of the family home 14 months ago. I am renting privately and my husband is still in the family home paying the mortgage. We are due to attend court for our final financial hearing in October. We have two young boys who are residing with me 60/40.

We have little assets. Our home which has been valued at £315000 with a mortgage of £168000 left. Our pensions are very similar. Mine is £39k, his is £30k.

He has made me an offer of 50% of the house equity minus the early repayment fee and the cost of sale. He is also taking 50% of the difference in our pensions (£4.5k minus cost to get pension statements). He has been lent money from his family to buy me out and pay off the remainder of the mortgage.

He is now telling me that he is struggling financially and can't afford to pay the mortgage anymore. He has stopped the mortgage direct debit and says that unless I accept his offer out of court, he will default and we will both have bad credit going forward. I suppose he's not bothered because he has his family's money and won't need a mortgage or to rent if he buys me out but I will need to.

This has ovbiously scared me and I have spoken to the lender who have advised me that we can switch to an interest only mortgage for the next 6 months and that will take us (almost!) up to the court hearing, but my husband has to agree. I've spoken to him and told him this but he is refusing and says if I change it to an interest only mortgage he will cancel it.

I am completely stuck and don't know what to do. He's essentially trying to bully me into accepting with the threat of defaulting. He has access to his family's money but won't use it to pay the mortgage until the hearing and is saying that we have to put it up for a quick sale (below lowest valuation) so I will essentially get less than what he's offering so it's in my best interest to accept.

What can I do in this position? My Dad has offered to lend me the money to buy him out but I know he will refuse this straight away.

What happens if both parties want to buy each other out but one is saying he now can't afford to pay the mortgage? Will the court order us to sell to a 3rd party or say I can buy him out (even if he refuses)?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated please.
Thank you!

Hmm. You could submit an application for an interim order compelling him to pay the mortgage and/or agree to going interest only for 6 months.
If both of you want to keep the house and cannot agree, there's an increased chance that there will be an order for sale. I don't think he's doing himself any favours by not paying the mortgage/ claiming it is unaffordable.
How big is the property? If it exceeds your strict needs this is another thing that increases the chance of it being sold.

Hadenoughnow

Hello there,

I have been in contact with him via email over the last couple of days. I know he won't accept an offer from me to buy him out so I think the only way forward is to agree for him to buy me out.

He's stated that he will cancel any attempt by me to change the mortgage to an interest only mortgage and the only way forward is to accept his offer (which I know isn't fair). I have since told him to put the house on the market (which he stated he wanted to do last week as he couldn't afford the mortgage payments) and he is now trying to emotional blackmail me by saying that I haven't got the children's best interest at heart because they will now need to move again. I stamped as to what to do.

Financial settlement on divorce is based on needs. You each need a place that's big enough for the children. As you are primary carer priority would likely be given to you and the children. If you earn less but could rehouse with more than 50% of the equity, a departure from equality could well be appropriate.
Is the house in joint names?

Would you consider moving back to the property? Can you afford to pay the mortgage?

If he won't be reasonable you may need to consider an application to court and an order for sale. You may be able to get an early undertaking that he will cooperate with the mortgage holiday and/or make all payments. NB. mediation has to be tried first unless you qualify for exemption.

He should bear in mind that even if you agreed to an unfair settlement, it may not be approved by a judge if it's presented as a Consent Order. Unfortunately you cannot rely on that. It is better to seek legal advice at an early stage and move forward armed with that legal opinion. I would suggest a legal financial consultation such as the fixed price one offered by this site. Then you can decide your next move.

Hadenoughnow