Urgent Advice Needed : Mortgage Dilemma & Family Struggles Amid Seperation

I find myself in an incerdibly difficult and painful situation regarding my family. My wife and I have been separated for five years, and although she only applied for divorce in June 2024 (which I accepted), nothing has progressed further. What hurts me the most is that she has completely alienated my children from me. My elder child, who is almost 19 and in university, has no contact with me, and my younger child, who is in secondary school, is also kept away. This has left me heartbroken and struggling with the silence.

Even though I have not lived with them for years, I have continued to shoulder all the financial responsibilities of the home they live in—paying the mortgage, maintenance, ground rent, and house tax. However, now the re-mortgage on the property (which I fixed for five years) is due, and I am facing a serious challenge. My financial situation has changed, and I no longer earn as much as I did in the past. On the other hand, my wife is now working and earning, yet she refuses to cooperate.

Since the property is in both our names, my mortgage advisor reached out to her for her financial details, as both incomes are typically required to secure an affordable rate. Unfortunately, she is not responding or cooperating. If the mortgage rolls onto the Standard Variable Rate (SVR), it will become unaffordable for me, and I don’t know how I will manage.

I am deeply conflicted. Part of me still hopes that one day, my wife will at least communicate with me, and we can find a way to live amicably, especially for the sake of our children. But as of now, all communication is one-sided, and I feel like I am fighting a losing battle—emotionally and financially.

At times, I feel so defeated that I consider just walking away, stopping the payments, and returning to my home country. But then I think about my children, and I can’t bring myself to take such a drastic step.

I am truly at a crossroads and don’t know what to do. I need sincere advice on the best course of action, as this situation is becoming overwhelming. Any guidance would be deeply appreciated.

Does your ex have the means to pay the mortgage herself? You haven’t mentioned incomes other than yours has dropped.
Work out how much child maintenance is at CMS rates for your youngest child and just pay that.
Usually whoever stays in the FMH pays the costs of doing so.
If the mortgage is unlikely to be paid for a while speak to your lender.