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Child Maintenance

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KazzyG69
Posted by
Premium Member

04 Nov 13 #412376 by KazzyG69

Topic started by KazzyG69

I am the Petitioner in my divorce, for which I have been trying to get finalised for 3 years now.

My STBX has just informed me that he is going to get another solicitor to force me to let him see the children.

We have two children, who are 15 and 12 and he hardly bothers to see them. He never rings or makes any effort to see them. He lives in Stafford in a BnB and I live in Leicestershire. I keep asking him to pop over during the week after work and have offered him to stay over if it''s too much for him to drive back late at night. He has refused saying that he can only make it over at the weekends. This hasn''t been convenient for us for the past 4 weekends due to other commitments.

Because of this he has now become difficult and told me that he is going to get his maintenance payments reduced as I have been unreasonable in letting him see them!!

Can he do this?? I can''t afford a solicitor nor can I get legal aid, I have tried twice. I don''t want to go down that route as I have not stopped him seeing them, it''s just been a very busy month.

I am worried now, as he plays dirty and it scares me.

Gillian48
Platinum Member

04 Nov 13 #412385 by Gillian48

Reply from Gillian48

I''m sorry you find yourself in this position - does he pay CM through the CSA or is it an order between yourselves? Either way I don''t think he can reduce payments because he says you''re unreasonable?! As far as I know if it''s through the CSA he can apply for a variation if there is a change in his income as can you.
Sounds like it''s a threat to me - I had a similar situation however my children were a little older -(old enough to decided what they wanted to do) and as the children get older they do have more things to do and weekends in my case were always the busiest times, swimming, football etc... It sounds like your trying to be reasonable - try make him understand that they have lots going on and try suggest an evening again or sort something on a weekend when there is more time for them.
I''m not an expert but as far as I''m aware the only way CM can be reduced is if his income alters or maybe you can vary if they stay with him so many nights ( but sounds like the latter isn''t the case) .
Don''t let him scare you - maybe visit the CAB if you''re struggling just to check you''re claiming all the benefits you can.

Child Maintenance Options
Moderator

26 Nov 13 #414769 by Child Maintenance Options

Reply from Child Maintenance Options

Hi KazzyG69

Thanks for you post, I am William the child maintenance Options consultant. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time with your children’s father. Child Maintenance and contact are not linked in law, therefore, difficulties over one should not disrupt arrangements for the other.

You have not indicated what type of maintenance arrangement you have in place. If you have a family-based arrangement in place, there are no strict rules or formulas that you have to stick to when working out a payment amount and what is taken in to account.

You may wish to speak to your children’s father and try to renegotiate your contact arrangement and as Catwoman85 has suggested possibly try and arrange another weekend for him to see the children. This can be done without involving anyone else, or with the help of friends, family, Child Maintenance Options'' guides or a professional mediator. If you feel a mediator would help you discuss your contact issues, the following link will provide you with contact details for organisations in your area that offer that service find-legal-advice.justice.gov.uk/.

Family-based arrangements are not legally binding, however, they give you the flexibility to change your arrangement at any time.

There are some useful tools and guides available to download from our website at www.cmoptions.org/en/toolbox/index.asp, including our Discussions Guide, which you may find helpful when talking to your children’s father.

If you would like an indication of how much maintenance may be payable, based on how the Child Maintenance Service calculates maintenance, there is a calculator available on our website at www.cmoptions.org/en/calculator/. Some parents use the figure provide as a starting point to negotiate a family-based arrangement.

If you have a case with the Governments statutory services, they would take into account the nights your children stay overnight with their father. However, they would not lower your payments due to circumstances where he has not been able to see his children.

If you have a Consent Order/Minute of Agreement in place you would need to seek legal advice in regards to your contact issues affecting your payments.

We have a sorting out separation web-app that you may find useful, it offers help and support to separated families. You can find this at www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Sorting-Out-Separation.html.

Thanks
William

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Moderators: wikivorce team, rubytuesday, dukey, hadenoughnow, Tets, Forseti, Mitchum, WhiteRose, Lostboy67, WYSPECIAL, Bubblegum11

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