Son is having to have therapy sessions.......

I wonder if anyone can help as it seems i am banging my head against a brick wall as far as contact is concerned.

I have never denied my soon to be ex contact (the only contact i did deny was overnight as he had lied about providing beds for the children and was forcing them to sleep on a disgustin mattress on the floor that the dog used when they werent there - but he has since resolved this and bought them beds) but his partner (the woman he had the affair with and left me for) who he kept under wraps for over a year post walk-out, has been quite nasty to my youngest son and when she decided to blow up one afternoon, he was there to witness her hurling threats and abuse at me down the phone (all i said during the call was 'hello') and as i didnt rise to her bait and just put the phone down, she blew big time and she said that if the stbx didnt get 'those kids outta my effin house i would smash up all their stuff'. She had caused this by telling my youngest a horrifying lie which scared him senseless for over a week and had his sleep pattern shattered which is not good for a ikkle man of 5 at school.

I have told my solicitor that while i agree the children should have contact with their father, there is no reason for her to have contact with my boys also. However, after 1 contact where he gave his word she would be in no way involved, she rang and spoke to the boys while they were there (the boys told me later when they got home and seemed ok with it but said they didnt want to see her) despite stbx giving his word via his solicitor this wouldnt happen. He has another contact tomorrow (after not seeing children for 2 weeks and not even bothering to ring them) and says that is the last he has on his own and if i continue to behave in this manner (!! i am not the one calling the police and making false allegations to try and lose people their jobs or calling social services to say i am neglecting my own children in favour of my foster children!!!) then he will instruct the mortgage co to sell the house (which i know he cant do, i've paid the mortgage on my own for 2 years 4 months with no help from him) and has said that even if he never see's the children again he would still have a wonderful life.

Basically, am being bullied and threatened into giving in to letting her having contact. But my eldest son is now receiving a 12 week course of therapy with his school to help him to vent his feelings towards his father and his partner and he has also expressed to a professional within social services (who i work for !!) to say he hates his father and doesnt want to see him. (he is 8)

My stbx's priorities are now, as always, his partner. The fact that i have written evidence via a text to say he wont be bothered if he never see's children again means he shot himself in the foot but i now get a call from my solicitor today telling me he will apply for an enforced contact order (although i am not denying HIM contact) to force me to allow contact to go ahead with HER present as in his words 'they have had lots of overnight and day contact with her for over 2 years with no problems' which in itself is a lie as he had lied about her saying she was his land lady and gave a totally different name then introduced her under her real name as his GF last year.

Can i be forced to allow HER contact with my children when 1, they are clearly bothered by the situation and have said they dont want to go and 2, he has said he wont be bothered if he never see's the boys again?

It seems not a week goes by when i dont get some kinda drama to deal with, i wanted this all sorted and wrapped up over a year ago and am trying to get on with my life but every step forward i take ends up being dragged back.

Thanks in anticipation x

I'd like to hope that the authorities would see the evidence for themselves. I hope someone else on this site can give you some reassurance.

(((hugs for you)) it must be very difficult.