Preschool - Primary school transition

Hi, my son is 4 in june so will be 4 years 3 months in sep 09 when xw wnats him to start primary school full time. He is small for his age which is reflected in his general stamina and so far has not fared well at full days at pre school.

he attends preschool three mornings a week and I have suggested this is changed to two full days to prep him for primary school, failing that i have indicated that he should otherwise not start until jan 2010.

I have my son every other week from wed 1600 till 1800 sun and we have agreed on him staying for a full day on a thursday. My suggestion was to make tuesday a full day also but have just had response from XW saying that "it is not convenient for her family for him to attend for a full day on tuesday and she does not have to send him to school on "her time" if she does not want to."

my point being that he is only with me for 4 days out of 14 and obviously before he HAS to go to primary school full time I would like to capitalise my time with him. Sadly, XW is happy to admit him to school on days that would be my time but not hers.

I am not being selfish but simply trying to do whats best for my son but not sure what to do next. We have a "no order" in regards to residence so decisions need to be made equally but I am convinced she wants him in school so she can start work in the autumn. I, concerned that he is not ready, have tried to help him but meet continued resistance.

What do I do.....???

Can you speak to the 'teachers' at preschool and see if they think he's ready for primary? Not in a formal sense, but just to gauge for yourself whether it is really an issue. They'll have seen all sorts and sizes of kids and probably have a good idea of how each will cope.

I didn't actually realise it was possible to choose whether to start in the Sept or Jan, thought it depended on when birthdays are. Certainly in my neck of the woods, that birthday would put your son as a Jan starter which sounds more normal to me.

It does sound very unfair to me that you would lose time with your son when it is already limited. I would have thought that if he is in school on 'your' days, you should renegotiate a fair split of non-school days i.e. quality time.

Hi

My daughter is an August baby which meant she had only just turned 4 by the time she started full time school in the Sept .For her it was the best thing ever being with other children and having a whale of a time.I believe it has helped make her the wonderful girl she is today as she learned so much from a young age.

Kids don't like to be different prehaps your son is looking forward to being a big boy with his friends in Sept.I never thought my just turned 11 yr old daughter was going to cope with secondary school back in Sept 07 but she did, and she still a titch compared to many of the children that seem to spend all their spare time standing in grow bags with size 8 feet and yes thats the girls .


Reception class is all about learning through play it is a wonderful yr group.

Think I may have succeeded and XW is now considering a Wednesday full day as well as Thursday which would certaionly give him what he needs if he is to be ready.

My biggest fear is what I know some people have had to do which is let their child start, realise they simply are not ready and have to take them out unitl the term that they should actually start in which in my sons case would be jan 10. That would be awful if we had to do that so hopefully XW will see sense and realise that all the other sep 09 starters are doing full days at pre school in preparation.

The only thing no is that as she pays the "top up fess" for the sessions, she has said that if "I" want him to attend for the full day on Wed the "I" will have to pay the extra.

I have reminded her till am blue in the face that my contribution towards his school fees is through the monthly contribution I already make.

Can one never win....?