If he moves away, do I have to do half the travel?

I moved away for a while, after we seperated, with my then 1 year old. I did all the travelling bar 3 journeys in 18 months.

Now, we are back, he wants to move in with his girlfriend. I don't object to her, or to my daughter spending time as part of the new "family" unit. But I object to doing half the travelling. Because surely if it was my responsibility to travel whilst I had moved away for work, surely the reverse is true?

When I suggested this, I had a series of abusive e-mails. He has now chosen not to see her for 7 weeks as he says he is too busy (he is abroad, with his girlfriend). I am taking her to the girlfriend's once he is "available" to see her. But I don't want this to become the pattern. Or to feel forced into it - if I don't take her, he is rude, unpleasant, even bullying to me, or worse doesn't bother to see our daughter who loves her Daddy very much.

I don't know what to do, but was wondering about mediation, and would be grateful for any advice.

I would suggest mediation as a good compromise but the success will depend on both your commitment to it (not that I'm questioning yours, of course!). I would agree, he needs to make more of an effort and meet you half way (either literally or just figuratively!). You, I guess, may have to decide whether or not you will continue to work quite so hard at maintaining their relationship if he refuses to co-operate.

If it helps, I too have been nothing but decent about contact and have been subject to months of abusive behaviour, a refusal to let me see my children in 'unusual' situations (for example, I wasn't 'allowed' to take them with me to deal with my father's death and despite his promises, he refused to bring them for the funeral because, amongst other things, it was 'his' day to see them) and general control and manipulation. I don't expect it to get better. What does happen, however, is you get used to it and let it wash over you - you have to learn to pick your battles, I'm afraid. Sad for the children, but the only way to keep your sanity!

Thank you.
I don't know what I will do if he doesn't budge. It's so hard, to sacrifice everything of yourself, not just for your child (which is normal and natural) but for your child's father.
Hopefully we can make some progress with mediation - I kind fo wanted to know if I was being realistic in not wanting to spend all the time and money travelling for basically, his needs.

Don't think of it as doing it for him but for your daughter.

It certainly helps me, even if I always seem to be the one making compromises, that I do it for my children and their wellbeing. There are many childish and immature adults that put themselves first and play games, especially where ex's and children are concerned.