CSA, Contact, heaps of grief

Need some support from others that have been through this....Basically here's whats going on
Separated in 2007, husband was playing away, not divorced yet, he has petitioned a month ago unexpectedly, citing my unreasonable behaviour, which is ludicrous.

Contact and maintainance (£90 per week) was sorted out between ourselves until the summer of this year when he got a new girlfriend who seems to have totally changed him. He became disinterested in his daughter, and generally obstructive and aggressive. He has just moved into a rented house after living virtually rent free with his auntie for 2 years. This weekend, which is the weekend he moved into his new house, he decided to stop paying maintainance, telling me I could 'shove it up my arse'. he will not respond to texts or indicate if he is going to give me the money so I have gone to the CSA this week.

He works for my brother's business and I know how much he earns, he is employed and works regular overtime in the summer, he earns about £26k a year net.

He has not had regular overnight access for much of this year, now and again when it suited him but all of a sudden he has totally changed tack again. Our daughter stayed with him this weekend but he is not allowing her to come back to me....of course she is excited about the new house, its a novelty at the moment and she is keen to stay with him, despite the fact he has not bothered with her most of the summer.

How long will the csa take to assess and collect payments as I am going to struggle severely without it ?

I am also applying for an emergency residence order tomorrow to get firm contact arrangements in place to stop his little mind games.

Sorry for the rant, any advice welcome x

Hi K

I applied for CSA end of June this year!!

CSA was in contact with STBX within 7 days!! (1st week of July)

Got 1st payment Mid August!! BUT!!! He did not pay November!!! CSA have now taken at source from his employer and due payment 19th December. BUT!! I cannot have Nov & Dec payments in full as it will leave HIM!!! short!!

I like the CSA in one way but Ive learned a lesson not to relie on it.

Unsure but I think if awarded via court its 20% unlike CSA 15% of income

Good Luck

Debs

Thanks Debs,

The thing is he has been paying regularly without any problem up till now...I think he has someone who has been through the system advising him...he has just moved house, says he is up to his max on credit cards furnishing it....despite the fact he has earnt 50k in the past two years with virtually no living expenses to pay.

He works for my brother's business, my mum does all the wages etc so as long as the CSA are prompt in contacting them they wont delay on processing any paperwork. Does he have to supply wage slips directly to the csa or do they contact the employer first ? Im not sure how the system works.

Im so angry that he has done this, without any valid reason and seems able to get away with it, for the time being anyway.

I am also having to apply for an emergency residence order to establish some legal framework where my daughter is concerned as he refused to let her come home with me tonight. I left after he slammed the door in my face.

Disgusted by your Ex behavoir!!! Hope your ok and able to resolve ASAP!!! Can you not collect your child from school 2morro???

Unsure how old your child is but know how your feeling as going through similar myself!!! Now to the point my 17 year old will not speak civil to me!! And I recived a txt on Saterday nite from my stbxh that I had called my 17 a ASSHOLE (Him yes but my daughter never!!)despite not seeing her in weeks & That he was clearing space coz he wants the 10 year old. (I chucked him out coz found out he had a drug problem!! dispite months of putting up with it he was attacking the 17 year old!!short memory!! But I aint got dads salary and dads lies)

I too pay csa for my 17 year old!! in my case csa rang me, I told them my employer and CSA contacted them the same day!!
The following day CSA contacted me again as my employer had given my salary over the phone and gave me the monthy amount and bank details for direct debit was given there and then!!

My 1st payment went to him within 3 weeks!!
Yet his took me about 6 weeks to recieve!!!

Again yes I think my Ex has someone advising him as he too maxxed up yet spent 6 months with his sister and ive never had a penny apart from csa!! (When Ive had it!!)

Ive been with my solisitor today, cost me £300 to start Divorce proceedings and Im back on friday to sign to start ball rolling.

Just concerned for you while he has your daughter is he gonna take you for CSA!!

Let me know how you go on!!!

Debs:)

Forgot to add!!! CSA aint bothered what his outgoings are!! will take 15% regardless, But new family ie her children I think are took into consideration!!

Hi Debbie

yes I think you are right, he is trying to get our daughter to move in my stealth by promising her Sky tv in her bedroom etc....then try and make me pay maintenance. Contact has been so patchy for the last 6 months and always at his behest, when it suited him to fit in with seeing his girlfriend.

I am as sure as I can be she is co-habiting, she works full time but not sure what doing. He will not say. She is also a chain smoker and my daughter has asthma.

Once she is back here then I will feel happier and we can set down a contact schedule to suit her needs, not his.

He cant possibly care for her full time as in the summer he works 60 hours a week plus, sometimes not getting home till 9pm at night. His lifestyle is totally unsuitable for caring for a young child, he has never bothered before but is now pretending to play happy families. I know its lies and bullSH**t but my daughter adores him.

Forgot to say, she is 11, quite headstrong, and I know she will want to go and see him, he has moved quite close to her school but from next week he will be back at work and not able to care properly for her. I will let you know how I get on.