Consent Order and Change of circumstances

8 years ago my ex and I seperated. 4 years ago the Decree Nisi cam through. We fairly amicably agreed the terms and conditions of a Consent Order at the time which was duly ratified by the County Court.

The details were
1) a split of assets, including pensions, properties etc
2) ongoing child maintenance until the kids erach 18 or finish secondary school (£150 a month each).

I have the kids stay with me 50% of the time, which is what I wanted - i.e. to be an active father. I receive Child Benefit for my son (but not my daighter) although that will run out in December when he's 18.

Putting aside how much the maintenance has stuck in my throat (given I do have them 50% of the time, and I've been paying it for 8 years, and she did bloody well out the settlement), I've now been made redundant.

I've written to my ex to explain that I won't be able to make payments any more because my redundancy package has run out and I'm still not back in work - in fact I'm now re-training so my income is likely to be much lower until I can get my new career/ business off the ground.

What's my legal position?

Effectively I think I should apply for a variance in the Court Order, but would rather avoid the expense, although that may be necessary depending on how far she pushes it.

Any advice?

I should also add that when the kids stay with me, I feed them etc. My ex and I reached an agreement that I would pay for ongoing daily expenses for my son, and she would my daughter. These expenses include tutors, clothes and extras (School trips etc). To be fair we have shared the cost of tutors but you get the idea.

I still am more than happy to do this, and more than happy to have them stay with me 50% of the time, but it's the money I pay my ex, I've never been able to reconcile, although have done so faithfully in order to keep the peace. However now I can't. I do have some savings but then so does she, and she is now remarried and has been for 4 years.

You don't need to apply for a variance as after a year has elapsed on the consent order you are entitled to approach the CSA for an assessment.

Click on the child maintenance tab at the top of this page for information on how much you should - or shouldn't - be paying depending on your income.

Regards jaw

Thanks

I've been reading about this today, and it seems I've needn't have paid the £300 for the last three years!!!

If the 'periodical payments' (as they're termed in the Consent Order were spousal payments, they should have stopped when she re-married. If on the other hand they're CM, then based on current arrangements (I have the 50% of thetime), my liability is nil anyway. In fact, now that I'm not working, she should pay me.

Doh!!!!! Should have investigated this earlier!!!

Can I claim the money back from her or is it too late?

Don't know about you claiming any money back.

However, feel reassured that you have done the right thing thing financially for your children - I'm sure the money you have contributed, rightly or wrongly, has given them a decent standard of living.

Jaw

Sure.

I also try to do the right thing spiritually and emotionally, and they come and stay with me 50% of the time, and enjoy (so they tell me ) a much more relaxed atmosphere than they get at their mother's house.

All in all, I do believe I've done the right thing, but the continual payments have kept me tied to their mother's yoke, which I've resented, and want to be free from, emotionally and financially (in fact financially I have little choice). I've no real intention of trying to claim money back nor will I ever apply to the CSA for money from her - I'm just not interested - even though I may be entitled.

What a decent man you are - lucky kids!

I wish you and yours well

jaw x