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My partners child maintenance.

  • michelle1234
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11 May 10 #203360 by michelle1234
Topic started by michelle1234
Do I become accountable from my earnings for my partners child maintenance if he becomes a stay at home parent with our child and has no earnings of his own?

  • Ursa Major
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11 May 10 #203367 by Ursa Major
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How can he afford to give up work to be a stay at home Dad if he has other children to support?

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11 May 10 #203380 by happyagain
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Given the current cost of childcare, it might be an economical necessity for one to stay at home and be a single income family for a while.
Michelle, no I don't think you would be responsible. They are his children, not yours. When he returns to the workforce he will be able to contribute again. But if the ex will be losing a significant amount of income and might struggle to provide for the children, it might be more morally acceptable for you to offer to make a reduced contribution whilst the dad is not working.

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11 May 10 #203387 by Ursa Major
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My point and my opinion exactly.

Michelle, your partner has children from his first marriage, he is legally and morally obliged to support them before incurring extra costs (e.g. having additional children). If he has chosen to have further children this should not be to the financial detriment of those children already in existence.

You may not be legally obliged to pay his child maintenance but if your joint choices regarding having children and child care means that his existing children are financially worse off then morally you are responsible to those children.They are not your children, but your choices are affecting them and their well-being should be paramount in their father's mind and actions.

  • eyes on horizon
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11 May 10 #203410 by eyes on horizon
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Just wanted to say that I agree as if my OH gave up to take care of our child the CM would still be paid to his ex for his other children, out of my pay packet, even if the CSA said he didnt have to.
Couldn't live with myself otherwise!

  • gettingadjusted
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11 May 10 #203422 by gettingadjusted
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Not certain if it would apply here but there could be a case for variation to spousal maintenance in this issue which I would believe would then take into account the joint earnings of both parties.

Besides which if you have a child under csa guidelines the amount you pay is reduced, see the csa website

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11 May 10 #203423 by happyagain
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Just playing devil's advocate here as I've already stated my opinion on the legal and moral outlook here!
But as the partner of a man who already has 3 children I can also see it from the other side. My partner has had to fight to see his kids, he did not have them to only see them 3 days a fortnight. He does not enjoy the full sense of family life that he wants and misses his children when they're not around. I have a daughter from my 1st marriage and I also had a son who died. After the death of my son, I could not have contemplated a life without further children and I made this clear to my partner when we met.
When we decided to have a child togather I would have been outraged if anyone had tried to suggest that we should not have a baby in case it affected the financial contributions made to his ex. Money for us now is extremely tight and he will have to reduce his contributions to his ex to the recommended CSA level (although we have given 4 months notice). We have a right to a full family life, a right to have a child together. We may not be able to continue to give the same level of money to his children but they will always be welcome in our home and receive a great deal of love and attention.

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