Csa and access

I have been fighting for access to my son for over a year but at 14 he has decided he doesn't want to know or have anything to do with me.. My ex has now put in a claim for CSA, I have no problem with this as I am still and always will b his mother, infact I told my ex to go to the CSA. My question is, why is CSA and access not linked and is there anything I can do to fight this descision?

Hi


Sorry to hear your plight. There is a relationship between CSA and contact (overnight) as the amount of someones liability is reduced the greter contact there is. Which/whose decision are you wanting to fight? As your child is 14, I am afraid the court is highly likely to go with what the child WANTS (my opinion is that it should be what the child NEEDS)- but it would be difficult to make 14yr old do contact if they didnt want to.

Rich

I've been to the court and CAFCASS and yes your right, the judge said at 14 they wouldn't interfer with his decision. The point is the CSA force parents who don't want to pay, to pay, so why can't they force parents who are blocking access by manipulating a child to encourage access inorder to obtain csa payments???? It's so unfair!!!

Hi secret claret

I can appreciate your anguish in attempting to reconcile contact with your son. However, no matter how obstinate the father may be, there is a limit to how much a 14 year old can be manipulated effectively. If your son wanted contact at this point, there would be little that his father could do to block it completely. Impede it, for sure - but actually blocking would be very difficult.

There is a very good reason why contact and maintenance isn't linked in the way you suggest: that would leave many parents open to abuse the system in holding back contact where no maintenance is paid. Whilst this might look logical to a parent - it is not healthy for a child.

My advice would be to be patient with your son. I teach 14 yr olds and the vast majority undergo significant emotional changes from the ages 13-16. Continue to make it clear you want contact with him in any way you can - and wait and see.

Good luck

Shezi

Yeah i agree completely with Shezi- its gonn be hard but you need to try be patient and just be there WHEN he comes back to you- I am sure he will.

Good luck


Rich