is it changing from net to gross?

it's an interesting question, zonked, and I can only assume that it makes a difference. However, you know it's coming, there's a need to work out how you're going to manage it...

how many children are no longer their parents responsiblity at 19,though, zonked? Is the 'burden of primary care' really and truly lifted? Is it lifted ever if you're a responsible parent? More and more are in university at that age and others simply couldn't afford to get on the property ladder or afford the rent on a flat even if they actually want to leave home. What happens then? Is the PWC supposed to continue supporting them without any support from the nrp? or is the pwc supposed to just pack their bags and wave them bye bye?!

I know I had a home at my parents home up until I got married at age 30 and my parents never stopped supporting me, one way or another, whether it be with cash when they knew we were hard up or by filling up the car with petrol on a visit, that kind of thing. And certainly, without my mum's kind support at the moment, I wouldn't be about to buy a house without a mortgage and put a roof over the children's heads. Far more than their father is prepared to even try and do for them! But I am lucky, lucky in that my mum saved all her life and lucky in that she doesn't resent sharing with me (bless her, her latest comment as I burst into tears about feeling so damned dependent at coming up 40 was 'well, I've saved it all these years for a reason, haven't I? And this clearly was the reason!).

I've upset myself again now! It's been one of those days!

I completely agree with you mumtoboys. When my daughter and her partner became pregnant, the property market was already flatlining and they couldn't get 100% mortgage. I lent them a deposit so that they could house themselves and the baby.

At their wedding, a year later, her father graciously thanked me and accepted that if it hadn't been for me, they wouldn't have been able to buy a house. I just don't think it would have occurred to him to put his hand in his pocket.

We have such different values. Our respective relationships with our children reflect those differing values.

My 25 yr old son still lives with me. He's no longer a huge burden financially. He works full-time though not highly paid. He occasionally gets stuck and I help out but he never asks. I like that about him.

He's going to move in with his fiancé this summer. I'm going to love the space - I'm going to worry about them managing....

Shezi

I'm so glad you have your Mum, mumtoboys.

That's so lovely.