Parental Alienation Syndrome but still paying CSA!

My partner's ex withdrew all contact with their son when he wouldn't agree to sell the FHM at a ridiculous price to the partner she committed adultery with.

We fought to maintain contact through Family Court but 2 years later down the line the son agreed not to see the father anymore out of loyalty to his mother and a "no contact" order was given.

We are still paying £168 pound per month to the CSA for a child that "chose" not to see his father. Surely there should be some law against this? Thousands of pounds in legal fees for us and Legal Aid for her even though she's living with someone!

Why do the courts empower ex wives so much?!!!

Unfortunately this can happen and is very very sad.

I think its crucial he still contributes financially, as if he doesnt he just affirms his ex's 'dillusion' that he will give up completely on his some and she wins.

You may find that one day in the future the boy comes back to find his father, or seeks contact.
She will only be able to rule his mind for so long and once children grow into young, and then older adults develep yearning.

If its possible he should keep on attempting some form of contact, whether its letters, emails cards etc so one day that boy will know that his father never gave up.

When hes older he will probably realise what his mother did and I do feel for him to realise that he has been seriously harmed emotionally by her. Its a sad thing for a child to suddenly realise and I bet he seeks answers from his father.

Recently Foreseti, a senior poster on this board was reunited with his now 17-18 yo son who he hadnt seen since he was about 8 or so after years of alienation from the mum and her family...so there is hope.

Wish you and your partner the very best.

Many thanks "Eyes on Horizon". We have no problem contributing financially. We accept that part.

Very little avenue to contact child. Letters to the ex's house are most probably not passed on. Don't know of any emails or mobile phones. We feel very let down by the courts, social workers, solictors and police. Primary School Headmaster would pass stuff on but Secondary School Headmaster has refused to get involved.

Everyone keeps telling us that he'll come back to us some day but in the meantime it breaks our heart to know that this little boy has been turned so badly against us. My partner dearly loves his child and misses him soo much.

But as you pointed out, we hope he'll come back to us someday. It's just so awful that my partner is missing out on a loving relationship with his son and vice versa. We can never get these years back

Ensure that you write to the school and ask for copies of reports etc. As he still retains PR he has a right to this informatin.

I know a school report or photo is little consilation but these little things will remind your partner never to give up.

(hugs to you both)

We done this 2 months ago. The school asked us for a letter from our solicitor which we promptly provided. Heard nothing since even though we asked for school photos, copies of newsletters, parents' night dates, etc.

But you've given me the spur to ask my partner to ring them today again. If only this little boy knew how much energy we put into all of this!

We know that my partner has PR but we're expecting a request for a change to his surname next. The one last thing that she can do to wipe out any lasting connection to his biologiocal father.

But many thanks for your responses. Sometimes it's just theraputic to write it all down and to be grateful that someone like yourself takes time to respond xxx

Just a tip, send a big stack of self addressed stamped envelopes to the school with your next letter. Its what my partner does and means there is no excuse for not sending and also means that if he is attending state school there is no additional cost for the school to keep you informed.
I would also advise that he attends parents evenings, he can ensure that he does this at a different time to his ex to minimize conflict.

Ta. That's a great idea. My partner has just phoned to say that he has contacted the school and they are saying that they did not know his address (even though it is at the top of the letter we sent them!!!)

However they have assured him that they will keep him informed from hereonin. We already have been going to parents nights at his primary school and will continue to do so at his son's new school.

Many, many thanks for all your advice. it is very much appreciated! xxx