CSA How Much / Comeback from ex MORE MONEY

Hi
Can I ask the experts out there a couple of questions?

I recently got divorced
The divorce was not contested and we agreed to split everything 50/50, all very grown up and amicable.
I moved out. She stayed in the house with our 2 teenage boy's
We have a Private arrangement, and I pay the recommended amount (£280 pcm)as worked out by the CSA, plus I volunteered an extra £40 pcm for any other stuff that may come up.
My wife has always been terrible at managing her funds, I won't go into details, but we had to remortgage the house a few years back to pay off her cards / store debts (even though she earns twice as much as me??) and now I learn she owes 20k again!!!!

However my ex now wants more money from me?
She say's that the boy's will suffer if I do not pay more??
I feel awful, I don't want them to do with out, but I am hoping she at least matches my £320 making £640 pcm.......ENOUGH RIGHT??
(state school, nothing over the top, great lads, no worries)
She say's she now thinks we should have something put through the courts?? and that she wants more money???
HELP!

Hi SS

Not an expert but . . .

You can check the CSA website as to how much you should pay (there is a calculator on there). I agree that you should pay Maint but you shouldn't have to pay for you Xs bad finacial decisions after the split that really is her problem.

It is blackmail to say the boys will suffer, perhaps she knows thi will work on you?

I know my STBX is not good finacially & previously we got into problems because of this - looks like he is going down the same route now - but really that is his problem (or in your case her's) & there comes a time when you have to say STOP & stop picking up the tab / sorting out the problmes that they get themselves into.

If you go on the website & check the calculator you may find you are paying more than required, hence then say bring it on. I do wonder in hindsight if we had used the CSA it may have solved the problem i'm in now (defaulted) & at least take me out of the equasion - so there is no contact & no comeback.

Good Luck JJx

Here's my take on it; of all human emotions 'gratitude' has the shortest shelf life. Truth is you could slowly bankrupt yourself with little thanks or acknowledgment. 'Resentment' on the other hand lasts for much longer; if your ex feels you are living the good life whilst she's struggling, it won’t matter that they are her debts, she will blame you and try and cause you headaches.

So, if you do decide to lower payments in line with the csa, manage the process carefully. Let the ex know you are having money problems. Your struggling and can't afford to pay what she's used to. Your very upset about it. It’s a dark cloud over your head. Perhaps invent some additional financial crises, no bones about it, I would.

Then, work out what you should be paying using the CSA calc and maintain those payments. If you have extra cash handy perhaps stick it into an ISA for the kids.

Good luck

Stan
Did you get a Consent Order rubber stamped by the court upon your Decree Absolute.
If you have a consent order that's it all done and dusted.
If you can't afford any more than the £320 a month you will just have be tough and tell her that you can't afford any extra.
If your basing your payment on 20% of £1400 take home thats only a £20k a year job so I don't see how you could pay any extra after finding your own rent etc.
Also she will be getting all the working tax credits and child maintenance.
That rocks up to about £800 a month when I looked into it with 2 kids.
All the best
Pete