25% maintenance and blackmail

can someone help,I am currently paying 25% of my salary as well as half the loan and half the mortgage. I am having the kids more than 52 nights a year and am trying to be fair as possible but the minute i ask to pay the amount as qouted on the csa website i get threatend with not being allowed to have them overnight.

Can anyone tell me if she can stop me having them overnight if I have been following an agreed plan the last 3 months? as i need to try and wrestle some control back as she wont even consider selling the house etc.

This is tricky. The short answer is that she 'can't' - in that it would be very strongly disapproved of by a court, if they belived that she was restricting contact for financial reasons.

In practice, as is so often the case, it is much mrore difficult, as if she refuses to let the children come to ou, you may end up having to apply to court for a defined order, and, while it is likely that you will be sucessful, you might have a fairly lengthy wait before you are through the court process.

Has a Petition been issued yet? Does the Statement of Arrangements for children accurately reflect the current contact arrangments?

If your wife is not prepared to discuss selling the house it sounds as though you mayu also need to look at moving things along regarding the finances.

Have you tried mediation, or Collaobriative Family Law? Both offer opportunities to discuss both financial and child-related issues and might help you to move forward.

If these have been tried, and have failed, or if your wife isn't prepared to cooperate with either, then you may need to start looking at a formal applicaion to deal with the finacial side of things.

I will tell you that waht Tbagpuss is suggesting did happen to me. After my wife dictacted to me what I had to continue paying for, I was left with 225 a month to live on, rent and all.
In order to progress my life I had to stop paying the mortgage or told her I would pay one or the other (mortgage in leiu of CM)
she then made up a whole heap of allegations and I found myself in court.
What I didnt do, was act quickly. I let her stop me seeing her kids then i tried to get her to 'see sense' which coincidently she didnt do until she was sat across the table from me in a courtroom. then she was all 'he is a great dad blach balch)

what you need to do is find a way to put up with it long enough to get her to agree on paper how much you have the kids, whther its a diary you keep, (which is adviseable) or an email from her stating the arrangments. Then you need to apply to the csa with this info, and provide evidence that you are paying the mortgage and if you are paying a secured loan.
then if she stops contact you have some evidence to get down the courthouse and file the C100 for contact. when you apply you can pay an extra fee to waive service...when i did this I had my application in on the 4th of december and a hearing scheduled for the 15th. no lost time.
As Tbagpuss states, if you have filed for divorce and the statement of arrangments reflect what is the actual arrangmenet then you need to submit this to the CSA along with your application.

Have you attempted mediation with her to resolve the financial issues?
Is she able to contribute financially if you withdrew the amount you are paying??