Ex making contact difficult to increase CSA pay

Hello All,

Well, here I am again & the saga continues ...

I work shifts, (& not a fixed pattern) & try very hard to get as many weekends off as possible. This doesn't always work out, but whatever time over weekends I do have, be it a Friday night & a Saturday, or just a Sunday, I try to see the children.
So far I have been meeting the 52 nights quota by the CSA, & my maintenance payments have been calculated accordingly.
Since the beginning of the year she has been making things very difficult for me.
-She sets unrealistic deadlines for me to tell her the dates I wish to see the children (e.g I am either out of the country, or have not yet received my roster from work), or she grows impatient & withdraws dates before the end of the self-imposed deadline.
-She also frequently tells me that they have "plans" & therefore the children won't be available. I later find out from the children that they were at home doing nothing & never had any plans. When I ask her to let me know the dates of these plans for future reference (& to help with my work plan request) I get told " our plans are none of your business & I don't need to tell you where we are). As a sideline, surely I'm entitled to know where my children are at all times & be able to contact them(she refuses to give me the landline phone number even though the property is in joint names & I pay the mortgage)??
-She has booked 2 holidays (yet she doesn't have enough money to live), 1 of which is in term time which I'm not happy about; the 2nd of which is in the only week of holiday I have in August & she knew this.
-She also sends the children to the childminder (who lives next-door) whilst she is at home on days which I have asked to see them.

All of this has meant my days with the children are being reduced to nothing, which is extremely upsetting for both me & them. I am trying my hardest to see them, yet she keeps putting hurdles in my way.
I truly believe that the reasons for her doing this are finically motivated. She is spending money like water, whilst I am barely keeping my head above water.
I am aware that the CSA can just increase my maintenance payments, but I feel that little of this is being spent on the children. Can I object to paying more based on the fact that she is making it extremely difficult to see the children? & it's not through lack of trying that I am only seeing them sporadicly.

I don't want to pay more & not ever see them, I just want to spend time with my children.

I would be really grateful for any advice as to how to tackle this situation from the knowledgable members here!
I can always guarantee some good suggestions & support, so thanks in advance!

This seems like an exercise in control from your ex. Unfortunately, the CSA do not consider anything but the bare facts - if they are with you for 40 days, regardless of how many times contact has been blocked, then that is what you will pay for. Its not fair, and it drives some PWC to manipulate dates, but thats the way it is.
I would say that the best thing for you is to get a contact order. You say your weekends are sporadic but surely this can be built into some kind of order? And certainly your holiday time could be built in, maybe with you both having to advise each other of propsed holiday dates to ensure fairness.

Thanks Happyagain,

It's as I thought, the CSA have no interest in anything other than the financial side of things, regadless of the goings on behind the scenes.

I am trying to think of a way of incorporating my work pattern (or lack of) into a contact order, but is proving difficult.

I am considering withdrawing from all contact with the children as it causing so much upset on both side.

Thanks again for your help, I hope that I may be "happy again" at some point!

Don't give up on your children whatever you do. They won't understand why unless they go through something similar themselves as adults, and you will sincerely regret it at some point down the road.
Why don't you post details of your working pattern and see what members suggest? There may be something workable that you've just not spotted.
And you will be happy again, you just need to take control