child maintenance

Mumtoboys you have said exactly what I was going to say.

Survive, You really need to establish how much he should be paying based on what he has declared to be his income.

If he is having the children on average 3 nighs a week then the CSA would state he can reduce the 25% (3 children) of his net income he should pay CM by 3/7.

Is the figure he is suggesting he reduces the CM by correct?

Any contribution over the CSA rate are voluntary.

Its really difficult if you know he earns more and cant prove it and I can understand the frustration. All you are trying to do is prove the children with the life they had before all this started.

The children will understand if the money isn't there anymore for everything they want to do. Try not to lay the blame at their father door or get them to guilt trip him, it will usually backfire.

At the moment the situation looks bleak but you will survive and once this bit is over then life will begin to return to normal and in my experience the money stuff has a way of working out. In the beginning my ex (i have two!!) refused to pay for anything extra if I asked I stopped asking and he begin to offer more!

O.k wiki friends,

Here's another question re: above.

stbx clearly states in e.mail to reduce child money by 100 per month due to the additional expense in providing the extra clothing and food in caring for the children, as they will now be staying with him for 6 extra nights a month. Once each week and two alternate Sundays. (he fed them anyway when he had thewm in the week and on the Sunday, so he must now be charging them rent to sleep there!!!!!!

He is now expecting and has asked for me to provide him with extra clothes including their uniform???!!!

Taking the pixx or what!

Opinions would be greatly received!

Survive
x

I thought the who point of reducing maintenance when to the RP when the NRP has overnights is because of their (NRP) corresponding increased costs.

So in simple terms, yes he's taking the pixx asking you to supply uniforms! Clothes - would you have given them clothes for overnight anyway? But to an extent I would expect him to provide the basics like underwaer, sleepwear, t-shirts etc but probably not winter coats as most kids only have one.

Exactly. I can't see where his costs increase?? Except for maybe the water to bath them in.

Yes I have always packed all clothes for them and washed it (bat their uniform which stbc washed) This included all their kits etc etc.

So what should I do/say now?

Just say sorry no.

Don't argue, don't be drawn into discussion, nothing. You know you can't reason it out with him so just put it bluntly and don't discuss it any longer. If he wants to get the stuff then he will but don't rise to the bait.

Thanks, this is going to sound really daft but I'm scared to say no. I know it will cause aggroo and he will try and say that I am depriving the children of their uniform and will probably tell them so too...

I know its hard but the only way to stop a bully is to stand up to them.

How old are the children? Can you discuss the situation with them?

Unfortunately due to the CSA rules if he has the children on average 2 nights a week he can reduce the CM accordingly. If he reduces CM because he is having the children more do not provide the clothes for the weekend contact for him.

Is he collecting the children from school and returning?

Say to him the children will be in uniform and can be returned in the same uniform. (if necessary provide clean uniform at school for the children, explain to the teacher / head they will understand.