A bit confused, question

I agree about not letting them choose the house etc. I'm surprised they haven't been down though, as her partner already lives there. As it stands right now, younger on doesn't 'want' the baby. She said to my partner a week before the baby was born 'I don't want this baby. Mummy could just take a tablet and it could go away'. She was very much favoured until baby came along and now doesn't have half as much attention anymore. A new baby is an adjustment for any child, but she isn't coping well with it at all. Neither child seems to understand at the moment why they are moving. The older one has said I will go and try as long as I can still see Daddy, but I think the reality is hitting him, as he has been quite upset about going. He has asked why we can't move there too. This isn't an option as my partner is self-employed and his business is up here.

He hasn't been involved in the decisions at all. He has asked about schools etc, and she won't tell us, has said to stop bothering her. He doesn't know the address where they are living, only what the kids have told him. She only told us the actual moving date last week, but has been threatening to go for over a year. We have been told that they can come here every other weekend, but spend some of that time with her mother.

Oh dear...I hope there are some dads reading this who have been through this who can support you in dealing with these issues. I would suggest you try Families Need Fathers as they have a good reputation. Your partner has a right to know about schooling in the very least, and should be involved in the decisions that are being made. He also needs firmer contact arrangements to be made - if you only have 6 weeks until the move (and you have no forwarding address) you are limited in what you can do but I suspect getting a solicitor on board quickly would be a good investment. My ex managed to get a Prohibited Steps Order against me for simply suggesting that we take our eldest out of his private school as we could no longer afford it (I had family 250 miles away so he assumed I wanted to take him out of school to move areas) so this might be something you want to look at - however, it will damage relations with mum. I suspect he also needs to look at getting a Contact Order which allows him at least one weekend a month, half of holidays, alternate Xmas etc. The court system is slow and you have left it very late!

It is normal for a child to be upset about a baby coming along - and from my own experience, my now middle child was very much favoured and now isn't! He's not keen on his brother either, bless him! All you can do is encourage her to love the baby and give her as much attention as you can when she's with you.